You know, the process of rising strong begins with the story we tell ourselves. It’s not about the fall itself, but the narrative we build from it. That internal monologue is where our real power lies.
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Meaning
It means that our recovery from any setback is determined not by the event itself, but by the personal narrative we construct to make sense of it.
Explanation
Let me break this down for you. We all get knocked down, right? A project fails, a relationship ends, we get passed over for a promotion. The initial fall is one thing. But what happens next, in our heads, is everything. We instantly start telling ourselves a story about *why* it happened. “I’m not good enough,” “They were out to get me,” “I’m just unlucky.” That story, that interpretation, is the raw material for our comeback—or our collapse. If we can get curious about that story, if we can challenge it and own it, that’s the alchemy. That’s how we turn a mess into a message. It’s the difference between being defined by your failure and being refined by it.
Summary
| Category | Health (27) |
|---|---|
| Topics | healing (2), perception (4), story (1) |
| Style | didactic (18) |
| Mood | reflective (16) |
Origin & Factcheck
This is straight from Brené Brown’s 2015 book, Rising Strong, which came out in the United States. You sometimes see the sentiment echoed elsewhere, but this specific phrasing is uniquely hers, born from her extensive research on vulnerability and courage.
| Author | Brene Brown (9) |
|---|---|
| Book | Rising Strong (5) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brene Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves.
Official Website |Facebook | X | Instagram | YouTube |
Where is this quotation located?
| The process of rising strong begins with the story we tell ourselves about what happened |
| Publication Year/Date: 2015; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9780812995824; Last edition. Number of pages: 336. |
| Approximate page, The Reckoning section |
Context
In the book, this isn’t just a nice idea. It’s the foundational step of her three-part “Rising Strong Process”: The Reckoning (getting curious about your feelings), The Rumble (owning and challenging your story), and The Revolution. This quote kicks off the entire, messy, necessary work of the Rumble.
Usage Examples
Think about using this when you see someone, or even yourself, stuck in a loop of self-blame or victimhood after a setback.
- For a struggling team leader: “Look, the client presentation didn’t land. Instead of the story ‘my team is incompetent,’ what if the real story is ‘we didn’t prepare for their specific objections’? That’s a story we can fix.”
- For a friend after a breakup: “I hear you saying the story is ‘I’ll never find love.’ What if we challenge that? What if the story is actually ‘that relationship taught me what I truly need’?”
- For yourself: When you mess up, pause and ask: “Okay, what is the story I’m telling myself about this right now? And is it 100% true?”
To whom it appeals?
| Audience | leaders (133), students (198), therapists (36), writers (12) |
|---|---|
This quote can be used in following contexts: writing workshops,therapy training,motivational sessions
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FAQ
Question: Is this just positive thinking?
Answer: Not at all. It’s *truth-seeking*. Positive thinking would be saying “It’s all fine!” This is about staring the ugly, painful story in the face and wrestling with it until you find the actual truth.
Question: What if the story I’m telling myself is true?
Answer: Great question. The goal isn’t to invent a happy story. It’s to interrogate your first-story for accuracy. You might find it’s only partially true, or it’s missing key context. The act of rumbling with it is what builds resilience.
Question: How long does this “process” take?
Answer: It’s a practice, not a one-time fix. For a small slight, maybe minutes. For a deep betrayal, it could be a journey of months. The key is to just start the process, to get curious.