Your handshake should say, ‘I’m happy to see you.’ That single line from Leil Lowndes flips the script on a lifetime of bad advice about firm handshakes. It’s not about projecting power, it’s about creating an immediate, genuine connection that makes people want to engage with you.
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Meaning
The core message is simple: a handshake is a tool for connection, not competition. Its primary job is to communicate warmth and welcome, not dominance or strength.
Explanation
Look, for years we’ve been told the “firm handshake” is the goal. But what does “firm” even mean? For a lot of people, especially men, it turns into this weird, unspoken arm-wrestling match. You’re not trying to prove your physical prowess; you’re trying to open a dialogue.
Think of it this way: your handshake is the very first physical touch in a professional relationship. It sets the entire tone. A crushing grip or a dead-fish limpness immediately creates a barrier. But a confident, warm, and respectful handshake—one that matches the other person’s pressure—says “I see you, I’m present, and I’m glad we’re here together.” It’s a subtle but incredibly powerful distinction. It builds rapport before a single word is exchanged.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | body language (10), confidence (100), first impression (5) |
| Literary Style | practical (126), witty (99) |
| Emotion / Mood | friendly (32) |
| Overall Quote Score | 80 (256) |
Origin & Factcheck
This specific phrasing comes directly from Leil Lowndes’s 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, published in the United States. While the concept of a proper handshake is ancient, her framing of it as a message of welcome, rather than strength, is her unique and brilliant contribution to modern communication advice.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Your handshake should say, ‘I’m happy to see you,’ not ‘I’m stronger than you.’ |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 5: The Power Handshake, Approximate page 23 from 2018 edition |