Recondition your reactions to dominant people Try to Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

In the book, this advice sits squarely in the section on assertiveness. The context is conflict resolution. The goal isn’t to “win” against a dominant person, but to ensure a fair and productive outcome where your perspective is heard and considered, effectively de-escalating the potential for a purely power-based conflict.

Usage Examples

So, who is this for? Honestly, almost anyone. But let’s get specific.

Think about the junior employee who needs to present an idea to a skeptical, fast-talking manager. Instead of getting flustered, they use this method. They visualize the manager’s likely objections and mentally practice responding with, “I understand your concern about the timeline. Here’s the data from our pilot that shows we can hit it.”

Or a project lead dealing with a domineering stakeholder. They prepare their evidence—the project scope, the previous agreed-upon deliverables—and visualize themselves calmly referring back to that documentation instead of getting into a heated argument.

It’s for anyone who needs to have a difficult conversation with someone who tends to control the room. You’re going in with a plan, not just a hope.

To whom it appeals?

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FAQ

Question: Isn’t this just being manipulative?

Answer: Not at all. Manipulation is about covert control for your benefit alone. This is about open, honest communication. You’re preparing to be clear and direct, which actually reduces game-playing and miscommunication.

Question: What if I prepare my facts and they still bulldoze me?

Answer: The preparation isn’t a magic shield that stops all aggression. Its primary value is in changing *your* internal state. When you know your material cold, you panic less. You might not “win” every time, but you’ll leave knowing you represented yourself and your position competently, which builds long-term confidence.

Question: How long does this “reconditioning” take?

Answer: It’s not an overnight fix. Think of it like building a muscle. The first few times are hard. But with consistent practice—literally taking 5 minutes before a tough interaction to visualize and prepare—you’ll find your default reactions start to shift within a few weeks. It becomes a new habit.