Awareness of emotion is the foundation for managing it. You can’t control what you don’t see coming, and this quote nails that essential first step in emotional intelligence.
Share Image Quote:You have to name it to tame it. Before you can manage any feeling, you first have to recognize that it’s even there.
Look, I’ve seen this play out a thousand times. People think emotional intelligence is about suppressing anger or forcing happiness. It’s not. It starts with that split-second of recognition. That “oh, I’m feeling anxious right now” moment. That moment of awareness is like turning on the lights in a dark room. You can’t navigate the room, you can’t find the door, you can’t manage anything until you can see what’s in there with you. The awareness itself creates a tiny gap, a space between the feeling and your reaction, and that’s where your power lies.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Wisdom (385) |
| Topics | awareness (126), emotion general (105), management (20) |
| Literary Style | concise (408), didactic (370) |
| Emotion / Mood | calm (491), focused (87) |
| Overall Quote Score | 78 (178) |
This is straight from Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, which really popularized the whole EQ concept. Sometimes you’ll see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific phrasing is Goleman’s.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Dr Daniel Goleman (50) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (54) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
| Official Website
| Quotation | Awareness of emotion is the foundation for managing it |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1995; ISBN: 978-0553375060; Last edition: 2005; Number of pages: 352 |
| Where is it? | Chapter: Self-Awareness, Approximate page 92 from 2005 edition |
In the book, this isn’t just a passing thought. It’s the bedrock of the entire argument. Goleman was building on earlier psychological research to show that this self-awareness is the absolute core competency. Without it, the other skills—self-regulation, empathy, all of it—they just don’t have a leg to stand on.
Here’s how this works in the real world:
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Principle (838) |
| Audiences | coaches (1277), leaders (2619), students (3111), teachers (1125) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | education workshops (20), emotional intelligence training (26), leadership classes (10), self-help books (53) |
Question: Is this about controlling emotions?
Answer: Not control in a stifling sense. It’s about managing them. You’re not trying to stop the feeling from existing; you’re managing your response to it. Big, big difference.
Question: What if I’m not aware of my emotions until after I’ve reacted?
Answer: That’s where everyone starts. The practice is in doing the autopsy *after* the fact. “Wow, I really overreacted there. What was I *actually* feeling?” That retroactive awareness builds the muscle for next time.
Question: How do you actually build this awareness?
Answer: Simple but not easy. Get in the habit of a quick mental check-in a few times a day. Just ask “What am I feeling in my body? What’s the word for this emotion?” No judgment, just curiosity. It’s a skill, and it gets stronger with practice.
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