Be genuinely interested in others. It’s the secret sauce to building real connections, not just making small talk. People love talking about themselves, and when you tap into that, you unlock a level of rapport that feels effortless and authentic.
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Meaning
At its core, this is about shifting your focus from yourself to the person you’re with. It’s the art of making someone feel heard and valued.
Explanation
Look, we’ve all been in those conversations where you can tell the other person is just waiting for their turn to talk. It feels transactional. Empty. This principle flips that script. It’s not a manipulation tactic. It’s a fundamental reorientation of your attention. When you are genuinely curious—when you ask a follow-up question because you actually want to know the answer—you’re giving someone a gift. You’re validating their experience. And in return, they associate that positive, seen feeling with you. It builds trust faster than almost anything else. It’s about connection, not collection—of contacts, that is.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | connection (265), interest (21), social skills (3) |
| Literary Style | direct (414), simple (291) |
| Emotion / Mood | friendly (32), lighthearted (8) |
| Overall Quote Score | 70 (55) |
Origin & Factcheck
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the United States. You might sometimes see the sentiment vaguely attributed to Dale Carnegie, and while his work certainly echoes the idea, this specific phrasing is Lowndes’s.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Be genuinely interested in others. People love talking about themselves |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter: The Power of Genuine Interest; Approximate page from 2003 edition: 47 |