Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in Meaning Factcheck Usage

Meaning

The core message is simple but incredibly powerful: Be genuine and generous with your compliments, because authentic praise is a gift that people carry with them forever.

Explanation

Look, here’s the thing I’ve seen over and over. This isn’t about empty flattery. Flattery is cheap, and people see right through it. What Carnegie is talking about is a strategy of abundance. Most of us are so stingy with our praise, holding back, thinking it might not be perfect or that people already know. But when you are “hearty” and “lavish”—when you are genuinely enthusiastic and you don’t hold back—you’re not just making someone feel good for a moment. You are literally depositing a memory in their emotional bank account that they will cherish for a lifetime. I’ve had people quote back to me a single, sincere compliment I gave them years ago. They held onto it. That’s the power.

Origin & Factcheck

This quote comes straight from Dale Carnegie’s legendary book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, first published in the United States in 1936. It’s a cornerstone of his philosophy. You’ll sometimes see similar sentiments misattributed to other self-help figures, but this is pure, classic Carnegie.

Context

In the book, this principle sits within a larger section about how to make people like you. Carnegie’s argument was that one of the most fundamental human desires is the feeling of importance. Giving sincere, lavish praise directly fulfills that desire, making the person feel truly seen and valued.

Usage Examples

So how do you actually use this? It’s not complicated, but it requires intentionality.

• For a Manager: Instead of a dry “good job,” try, “I was just reviewing the presentation you built for the client, and I have to say, the way you structured the data on slide four was brilliant. It made a complex topic instantly understandable. That’s the kind of strategic thinking we need more of.” See the difference? Specific, hearty, lavish.
• For a Colleague or Friend: Notice the small things. “You know, I always appreciate how you remember everyone’s names and ask about their families. It creates such a warm atmosphere, and it’s a skill I genuinely admire.” This isn’t about their work output; it’s about their character.
• For an Audience (like a team meeting): Publicly acknowledge contributions. “Before we start, I want to call out Sarah’s work on the quarterly report. She went above and beyond, and the clarity she brought to the financials was, frankly, a game-changer for all of us.”

Common Questions

Question: How is this not just manipulation?

Answer: The line is intent. Manipulation is about saying something you don’t mean for your own gain. This is about looking for the genuine good in someone’s work or character and then vocalizing it generously. It’s a shift from a critical eye to an appreciative one.

Question: What if I struggle to find something to praise?

Answer: You’re not looking for monumental achievements. Start small. Praise their attitude, their punctuality, a question they asked, the effort they put in. Everyone has something you can sincerely appreciate. The habit of looking for it is the first step.

Question: Won’t people get tired of too much praise?

Answer: They’ll get tired of insincere praise. But genuine, specific appreciation for real things? In my experience, the world is so starved for it that there’s no such thing as too much. The key is to keep it authentic and tied to something real.