Be interested not interesting It s the secret Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

In her book, this isn’t just a feel-good line. It’s the foundation for a whole series of practical “tricks.” Lowndes frames it as a strategic shift for building rapport in everything from networking events to personal relationships. She argues that making others feel like the most important person in the room is the fastest track to big success.

Usage Examples

So how does this work in the wild? Let me give you a couple of scenarios.

First, the anxious networker. Instead of rehearsing your elevator pitch, your only job is to ask one great follow-up question after someone tells you what they do. “Oh, you’re in SaaS? What’s the most surprising challenge your users face?” You become a memorable conversation, not just another business card.

Second, the first date. Forget trying to list all your accomplishments. Be relentlessly curious about their story, their passions, the little details. People fall in love with those who make them feel fascinating.

And finally, the team leader. In your next one-on-one, don’t just talk about projects. Ask, “What part of your work is most energizing you right now?” or “What’s a roadblock you’re facing that I can help clear?” You’ll gain incredible loyalty and insight.

To whom it appeals?

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FAQ

Question: Doesn’t this mean I just become a passive listener?

Answer: Not at all. It’s about active, engaged curiosity. You’re guiding the conversation with thoughtful questions, not just sitting there silently. It’s a dynamic process.

Question: What if the other person is boring?

Answer: Everyone has a story. The trick is finding the right question to unlock it. Ask about a challenge they’ve overcome, what they’re passionate about outside of work, or a time they took a big risk. You’d be surprised.

Question: How is this different from manipulation?

Answer: The intention is everything. If you’re “faking” interest to get something, people will sense it. The goal is to cultivate a genuine curiosity about others. The connection is the reward, not a means to an end.