Don’t flash an immediate smile when you meet someone. That initial moment is everything. It’s about shifting from a generic greeting to a genuine, powerful connection that makes the other person feel truly seen.
Share Image Quote:It’s about replacing an automatic, polite reaction with a deliberate, personal connection. You’re trading a reflex for a moment of genuine recognition.
Okay, so here’s the thing I’ve found after years of coaching people on this. An immediate smile can come off as… well, a bit robotic. It’s what everyone expects. It’s the social default. But when you pause, just for a heartbeat, and look at them first, you’re communicating something entirely different. You’re saying, “I see you. I’m registering who you are.” And then the smile unfolds. That slight delay transforms it from a polite gesture into a gift meant specifically for them. It creates a tiny, powerful moment of intimacy. It’s the difference between a streetlamp turning on at a scheduled time and someone lighting a candle just for you.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | first impression (5), nonverbal communication (3), presence (80) |
| Literary Style | instructional (42), observational (27) |
| Emotion / Mood | confident (39), optimistic (116) |
| Overall Quote Score | 80 (256) |
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the US. It’s one of her 92 “little tricks.” You sometimes see similar concepts floating around, but this specific phrasing and the psychology behind it is all Lowndes.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | Don’t flash an immediate smile when you meet someone. Instead, look at their face for a second, pause, and then let your smile spread slowly |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 2: The Flooding Smile, Approximate page 11 from 2018 edition |
In the book, this isn’t just a standalone tip. It’s part of a bigger strategy for building instant rapport. Lowndes frames it as a way to stand out, to make your interactions memorable and feel more authentic in a world full of superficial, quick hellos. It’s about quality of connection over quantity of acknowledgments.
So, who is this for? Honestly, anyone who wants to improve their one-on-one connections.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Tips (13) |
| Audiences | business professionals (1), leaders (2620), speakers (92), students (3112) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | client meetings (4), first dates (2), networking events (35), presentations (8), sales pitches (1) |
Question: Won’t pausing feel awkward or make me seem intense?
Answer: It’s a split second, not a stare-down. The key is to make it a thoughtful glance, not a cold analysis. It feels more natural than you’d think, and the other person rarely consciously notices the pause—they just feel the positive effect.
Question: Is this being manipulative?
Answer: I see why you’d ask that. But no, it’s not. It’s about replacing a hollow, automatic habit with a more conscious and genuine one. You’re not faking anything; you’re just allowing a real connection to form before the social reflex kicks in.
Question: What if I’m just a naturally quick smiler?
Answer: That’s great! Your warmth is an asset. The trick is to just temper the speed. Let the instinct to smile start in your eyes first, hold it for a nanosecond, and then let it spread to your mouth. It’s about layering, not suppressing.
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