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Get the other person saying yes… It’s not about manipulation, it’s about creating a psychological runway for agreement. You’re setting a pattern of ‘yes’ that makes the bigger ‘yes’ feel natural.

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Table of Contents

Meaning

The core idea is to establish an initial pattern of agreement, creating a positive and collaborative momentum from the very start of an interaction.

Explanation

Look, here’s the thing I’ve seen work time and again. It’s about fundamental human psychology. When you start a conversation by getting someone to agree with you on small, undeniable points, you’re doing two powerful things. First, you’re breaking their habitual ‘no’ reflex—that defensive posture we all have. Second, and this is the magic, you’re building a psychological pattern. You’re literally training their brain, in that moment, to be in a state of agreement with you. So when you eventually present your main idea or request, it doesn’t land in hostile territory. It lands on a path you’ve already paved with ‘yes.’ It feels less like a confrontation and more like the next logical step.


Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryBusiness (233)
Topicsagreement (5), momentum (9)
Literary Stylepithy (25)
Emotion / Moodstrategic (66)
Overall Quote Score60 (20)
Reading Level39
Aesthetic Score52

Origin & Factcheck

This principle comes straight from Dale Carnegie’s legendary 1936 book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, published in the United States. It’s a cornerstone of his method. You’ll sometimes see similar ideas in sales training, but this specific phrasing and its popularization are unequivocally Carnegie’s.


Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorDale Carnegie (408)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameHow to Win Friends and Influence People (99)
Origin TimeperiodModern (530)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

Dale Carnegie(1888), an American writer received worldwide recognition for his influential books on relationship, leadership, and public speaking. His books and courses focus on human relations, and self confidence as the foundation for success. Among his timeless classics, the Dale Carnegie book list includes How to Win Friends and Influence People is the most influential which inspires millions even today for professional growth.
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Where is this quotation located?

QuotationGet the other person saying yes, yes at once
Book DetailsPublication Year/Date: 1936 original, Revised Edition 1981, ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9780671723651, Last edition. Number of pages: Revised Edition 1981, approx 291 pages
Where is it?Part Three How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, Chapter Get the Other Person Saying Yes, Approximate page from 1981 edition 76-79

Authority Score88

Context

In the book, this isn’t a standalone trick. It’s part of a larger section on how to win people to your way of thinking. Carnegie frames it as a way to avoid arguments, because you can’t win an argument—you can only make the other person more resolute. Starting with ‘yes’ bypasses that entire destructive cycle before it even begins.

Usage Examples

This is where it gets practical. Think about a negotiation. Instead of starting with your price, you’d say, “We both want this to be a fair deal, right? And you’re looking for a reliable partner, correct?” Two quick yeses. Now you’re allies figuring out the details, not adversaries.

Or with a hesitant team member: “I know you’re swamped, and this project is a priority, isn’t it? You want us to hit our deadline, yes?” You’ve acknowledged their reality and aligned on a shared goal. Now, “So, let’s figure out how we can carve out two hours for this,” becomes a collaborative solution, not a top-down demand.

Who needs this? Honestly, anyone who needs to persuade. Leaders, salespeople, marketers, project managers, even parents. It’s a universal tool for better communication.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
Audiencesfacilitators (9), fundraisers (10), negotiators (43), sales teams (17)
Usage Context/Scenarioclosing techniques training (1), discovery call scripts (1), donor meetings (1), stakeholder updates (1), workshop facilitation tips (1)

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Motivation Score46
Popularity Score74
Shareability Score63

Common questions

Question: Isn’t this just manipulative?

Answer: It absolutely can be if your intent is selfish. The key, as Carnegie stressed, is sincerity. You’re not tricking people; you’re finding genuine common ground to build from. It’s the difference between guiding and pushing.

Question: What if the person just says ‘no’ to the first question?

Answer: Then you’ve learned something invaluable early on! You’ve discovered the real objection is much earlier than you thought. Your job then shifts to understanding that ‘no’ before you can even think about getting to a ‘yes’.

Question: How is this different from the ‘Yes Ladder’ sales technique?

Answer: It’s the same core psychological principle. Carnegie’s work is the foundation that many modern sales and influence techniques are built upon. He was the one who popularized it for a mass audience.

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