Meditation is not about building walls against thought… it’s actually the complete opposite. This quote flips the common misconception on its head, revealing that true meditation is about developing a relaxed awareness where thoughts simply come and go.
Share Image Quote:The core message is that meditation isn’t a battle to empty your mind, but a practice of observing your thoughts with detachment, letting them flow by without getting tangled up in them.
Look, here’s the thing most people get wrong when they start. They sit down, try to “not think,” and when a thought inevitably pops in, they see it as a failure. They build this wall of concentration, trying to block everything out. And it’s exhausting.
What Goleman is pointing to is a much more subtle, and honestly, more powerful skill. It’s about shifting from being in the thought to being the awareness behind the thought. You notice the thought—”oh, I need to buy milk”—and instead of following that thread to your shopping list, you just gently let it dissolve. You don’t push it away. You don’t invite it in for coffee. You just acknowledge it and return to your anchor, your breath. That’s the real practice. It’s mental fitness.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3681) |
| Category | Spiritual (229) |
| Topics | acceptance (73), awareness (126), thoughts (29) |
| Literary Style | minimalist (443) |
| Emotion / Mood | calm (492), reflective (382) |
| Overall Quote Score | 71 (55) |
This gem comes directly from Daniel Goleman’s 1988 book, The Meditative Mind: The Varieties of Meditative Experience. It’s a key text where he was synthesizing scientific research with meditative traditions long before his work on Emotional Intelligence blew up. You sometimes see this idea misattributed to random spiritual influencers, but the core articulation here is firmly Goleman’s.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Daniel Goleman (125) |
| Source Type | Book (4043) |
| Source/Book Name | The Meditative Mind: The Varieties of Meditative Experience (60) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Modern (540) |
| Original Language | English (3681) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4043) |
Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
| Official Website
| Quotation | Meditation is not about building walls against thought but about learning to let thoughts pass without holding on to them |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 1977 (originally as The Varieties of Meditative Experience, revised 1988 as The Meditative Mind); ISBN: 9780874778335; Last Edition: Tarcher/Putnam 1988; Number of pages: 320. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 1988 edition, Chapter 2: The Psychology of Meditation |
Goleman was writing this book as a kind of grand tour of meditation practices across different cultures—from Buddhist Vipassana to Christian contemplative prayer. He was making the point that beneath the surface-level differences, there’s a common thread: the cultivation of mindful awareness, not thought suppression. This quote is him cutting straight to the heart of that universal mechanism.
I use this concept all the time, not just on the cushion. It’s a life skill.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1755) |
| Audiences | leaders (2624), mindfulness coaches (5), seekers (406), students (3118), therapists (555), writers (364) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | daily affirmations (39), meditation classes (6), mindfulness training (27), psychology lectures (34), self-reflection journaling (1), spiritual retreats (54) |
Question: So if I’m having thoughts, I’m not doing it wrong?
Answer: Exactly! Having thoughts is the default state of the human brain. The “doing” of meditation is the gentle returning of your attention, again and again. The thought isn’t the problem; your entanglement with it is.
Question: How is this different from just zoning out?
Answer: Great question. Zoning out is a lack of awareness—you’re lost in thought. This is hyper-awareness. You’re fully present and consciously choosing not to follow the thought. It’s active, not passive.
Question: What if the thoughts are really intense or negative?
Answer: The principle is the same, but it’s definitely harder. The practice isn’t to become a robot. It’s to create a tiny bit of space between you and the intense emotion, so you’re not completely identified with it. That space is where your freedom of choice lies.
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