Our job is not to deny the story Meaning Factcheck Usage
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Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending… It’s a powerful call to action, not passive acceptance. This is about owning your narrative and having the courage to change its final chapter.

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Table of Contents

Meaning

At its heart, this quote is about radical ownership. It’s the idea that while we can’t control every event that happens to us, we hold the ultimate power to write the final meaning of those events.

Explanation

Let me break this down the way I’ve come to understand it through my own work. “Our job is not to deny the story” – that’s the first hurdle, right? So many of us want to pretend the failure, the heartbreak, the setback never happened. We bury it. But Brene says, nope, you have to pick it up. You have to own it.

Then comes the really hard part: “to rumble with it.” This is the messy middle. It’s the uncomfortable, gritty work of asking, “What is this story truly about? What part did I play? What are the lies I’m telling myself?” You wrestle with the raw data of your experience until you find the truth. And that truth, that new understanding, is what gives you the power to “rewrite the ending.” You don’t change the past event, but you fundamentally change what it means for your future. You go from victim to author.

Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryPersonal Development (697)
Topicsnarrative (2), ownership (20)
Literary Stylepoetic (635)
Emotion / Moodempowering (174)
Overall Quote Score80 (256)
Reading Level45
Aesthetic Score85

Origin & Factcheck

This is straight from Brené Brown’s 2015 book, Rising Strong as a Spiritual Practice. You’ll sometimes see it just attributed to Rising Strong, which is the main non-fiction book, but the full, specific source is the “Spiritual Practice” edition. It’s a uniquely American concept, born from her extensive research on vulnerability and courage.

Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorBrene Brown (257)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameRising Strong as a Spiritual Practice (39)
Origin Timeperiod21st Century (1892)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?

QuotationOur job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with it until we rewrite the ending
Book DetailsPublication Year: 2017; ISBN: Unknown (based on her talk and workbook materials); Length: ~60 pages (lecture adaptation, Sounds True audio transcript).
Where is it?Section: Story and Resilience, Approximate Page 18

Authority Score90

Context

In the book, this isn’t just a nice idea; it’s the entire methodology. The “rumble” is a defined stage in her “Rising Strong” process. She frames it as a spiritual practice because it requires a profound belief that you are worthy of a new ending, and the courage to be vulnerable enough to go into the arena and fight for it.

Usage Examples

So, who is this for? Honestly, anyone breathing. But let’s get specific.

Think of a leader whose big project just failed spectacularly. Denying the story is calling it a “learning experience” and moving on too fast. Defying the ending is gathering the team and rumbling with the hard questions: “Where did our trust break down? What assumptions were wrong?” That rumble rewrites the ending from “We failed” to “We learned how to fail forward, and now we’re stronger.”

Or someone going through a personal crisis, like a divorce. The easy story is “I was left.” The rumble is asking, “How did I show up in that relationship? What needs of mine weren’t being met?” Rewriting the ending looks like emerging not as someone who was discarded, but as someone who now knows what they need to build a healthier love next time.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
ThemeAdvice (652)
Audienceshealers (37), leaders (2619), students (3111), therapists (555)
Usage Context/Scenariohealing workshops (19), leadership development (85), motivational keynotes (43), personal reflection (34), writing seminars (1)

Share This Quote Image & Motivate

Motivation Score85
Popularity Score85
Shareability Score90

FAQ

Question: Is this just positive thinking?

Answer: Not at all. In fact, it’s the opposite. Positive thinking often bypasses the pain. This forces you to march straight through the middle of it. It’s gritty, difficult, and deeply honest work.

Question: What if I can’t change the actual ending? (Like a loved one passing away)

Answer: This is a crucial point. You’re not rewriting the event. You’re rewriting the meaning the story holds in your life. The new ending might be “I learned the depth of my own resilience” or “Their legacy taught me to live more fully.” The event is fixed; its impact on your future is not.

Question: How do you actually start “rumbling”?

Answer: You start by getting curious. Write down the story you’re telling yourself. Then, like a scientist, challenge it. Ask: “What facts do I have to support this story? What parts are my own fear talking? What would a more generous or truthful interpretation be?” The first draft of the story is rarely the true one.

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