Our true friends are not the ones who make us laugh… that’s the start of a quote that flips our whole understanding of friendship on its head. It’s not about the good times, but about who shows up when things aren’t so good. This is about depth, not just fun.
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Meaning
It’s a simple but profound distinction: a true friend’s primary role isn’t entertainment, it’s affirmation. They are the ones who make you feel seen, valued, and deeply cared for.
Explanation
Look, we all have friends who are a blast to be around. The life of the party. And that’s great. But Coelho is pointing to something more… foundational. Laughter is surface-level. It’s a reaction. Feeling loved? That’s a state of being. It’s what sits with you in the silence after the party’s over. The friend who makes you feel loved is the one who holds space for your pain, who remembers what matters to you, who offers a quiet “I get it” when you’re struggling. That’s the stuff that builds a soul-deep connection. That’s the stuff that lasts.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | Portuguese (369) |
| Category | Love (89) |
| Topics | connection (265), friendship (11), love general (86) |
| Literary Style | poetic (635) |
| Emotion / Mood | warm (182) |
| Overall Quote Score | 86 (262) |
Origin & Factcheck
This comes straight from Paulo Coelho’s 2011 novel, Aleph. You’ll sometimes see it floating around the internet misattributed to other self-help gurus or spiritual figures, but its true home is in that book, which is a semi-autobiographical story about his own journey of self-discovery.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Paulo Coelho (368) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Aleph (16) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | Portuguese (369) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Paulo Coelho(1947) is a world acclaimed novelist known for his writings which covers spirituality with underlying human emotion with a profound storytelling. His transformative pilgrimage along the Camino de Santiago inspired his breakthrough book, The Pilgrimage which is soon followed by The Alchemist< which went on to become the best seller. Through mystical narratives and introspective style, Paulo Coelho even today inspires millions of people who are seeking meaning and purpose in their life
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Our true friends are not the ones who make us laugh, but the ones who make us feel loved |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 2010 (Brazil); ISBN: 978-0-307-58845-4; Latest Edition: Vintage International 2012; 288 pages. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page 79, Chapter: The Gift of Presence |