People like you when you like them so Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

In the book, this isn’t just a feel-good line. It’s presented as a foundational strategy, a “trick” for building instant rapport. Lowndes frames it as a way to bypass small talk and create a genuine connection from the very first moment you interact with someone.

Usage Examples

Let me give you a couple of scenarios where I’ve seen this work wonders.

• Networking Events: Instead of scanning the room for “important” people, walk in and pick someone—anyone—and make it your mission to find something you genuinely like or admire about them. Maybe it’s their laugh, their choice of watch, the way they listen. Your entire demeanor will change, and they will feel it.
• Difficult Colleagues: Got that one person in the office who’s always a bit cold? Try this. Before your next interaction, consciously think, “I like this person.” Look for a common ground. The shift in your energy will often disarm them and change the dynamic completely.
• Sales & Client Meetings: Don’t go in just to sell. Go in genuinely interested in the client and their problems. When you like them first, you listen better, you empathize more, and trust is built almost automatically.

This is for anyone in a people-facing role—leaders, salespeople, teachers, you name it.

To whom it appeals?

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FAQ

Question: Isn’t this just being inauthentic or manipulative?

Answer: It’s only manipulative if your intent is wrong. The goal isn’t to trick someone; it’s to consciously access a genuine part of your own humanity—your capacity for warmth and acceptance—that might otherwise be hidden by social anxiety or a busy mind.

Question: What if I try to like someone and they’re just a jerk?

Answer: Fair point. This is a starting strategy, not a command to be a doormat. You can still start from a place of basic human respect. If someone proves themselves to be untrustworthy, you adjust. But you’ll have navigated that from a place of strength, not reactive negativity.

Question: How do you actually “start liking first”? It feels vague.

Answer: It’s an internal mantra. Before you engage, literally tell yourself, “I am going to like this person.” Then, look for evidence. Find one thing—their smile, their passion for a topic, their cool shoes. Your mind will follow your focus.