People rarely forget how you made them feel understood. It’s a game-changer in business and life. Let me tell you why this simple idea is so powerful.
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Meaning
The core message is that emotional impact trumps factual recall. People remember the feeling of being heard and validated far more than the specific words you said.
Explanation
Look, I’ve seen this play out a thousand times. You can have the most logical argument, the most data-driven presentation, but if the other person doesn’t feel like you’re on their side, that you truly *get* them, it all just evaporates. It’s not about agreeing with them. It’s about demonstrating that you’ve absorbed their perspective. That you see the world from their angle, just for a moment. That feeling of being understood—it creates a kind of psychological glue. It builds trust on a level that facts alone can never, ever touch. It’s the foundation of real influence.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | connection (265), empathy (143), understanding (119) |
| Literary Style | plain (102), universal (14) |
| Emotion / Mood | calm (491), tender (51) |
| Overall Quote Score | 89 (88) |
Origin & Factcheck
This specific phrasing comes from communication expert Leil Lowndes in her 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the United States. It’s often, and understandably, misattributed to Maya Angelou, who famously said something very similar: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Lowndes’s version is a more focused take on the mechanics of that feeling.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | People rarely forget how you made them feel understood |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 24: Mirror Emotions, Approximate page 104 from 2018 edition |