You know, I’ve seen it time and again: People rarely remember what you said, but they never forget the feeling you gave them. It’s the secret sauce in every successful relationship, personal or professional. It’s not about your words, it’s about the emotional residue you leave behind.
Share Image Quote:The core message here is brutally simple: Emotional impact always, always, always trumps intellectual content.
Let me break this down for you. We get so caught up in crafting the perfect thing to say, the perfect pitch, the perfect argument. But our brains… they’re funny. They’re not recording devices. They’re emotional sponges. The specific data fades, but the *feeling* of being listened to, of being understood, of being genuinely valued? That gets etched into their memory. It’s the difference between a transaction and a connection. And that connection is everything.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | connection (265), emotion general (105), value (44) |
| Literary Style | affirmative (75), memorable (234), poetic (635) |
| Emotion / Mood | compassionate (35) |
| Overall Quote Score | 87 (185) |
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the United States. Now, here’s a crucial bit of context—this quote is often, and I mean *often*, misattributed to Maya Angelou. She expressed a very, very similar sentiment, which is probably why the confusion exists. But the precise phrasing is Lowndes’s.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | People rarely remember what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel valued |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 23: Echo Their Emotions, Approximate page 99 from 2018 edition |
In her book, this isn’t just a feel-good line. It’s the foundational principle for her 92 “little tricks.” These aren’t manipulative tactics. They’re practical, actionable techniques designed to do one thing: make the other person feel good, feel seen, feel valued during an interaction. It’s the engine behind the strategies.
So how do you actually *use* this? It’s a mindset shift. Think about your next 1-on-1 with a team member. Don’t just run through a checklist. Put the phone away. Make eye contact. Listen to understand, not just to reply. That’s it. That’s the magic. For salespeople, it’s about shifting from a features-dump to a conversation focused entirely on the client’s needs and emotions. For leaders, it’s about remembering that your team will forget the quarterly targets you quoted, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel when they hit them—or missed them.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1754) |
| Audiences | educators (295), leaders (2620), students (3112), therapists (555) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | motivation seminars (12), personal reflection (34), public speaking (57), team meetings (67) |
Question: Isn’t this just being manipulative?
Answer: Only if your intent is wrong. If you’re genuinely trying to connect and make someone feel good, it’s authenticity. If you’re faking it for personal gain, that’s manipulation. People sense the difference.
Question: But what if what I’m saying is technically important?
Answer: Oh, the content still matters, of course it does. But think of the emotional layer as the delivery vehicle. A technically perfect message delivered with indifference will have far less impact than a good message delivered with genuine care.
Question: How can I get better at this?
Answer: Start with active listening. Truly focus on the person in front of you. Ask follow-up questions. Remember small details about their lives. It’s a muscle you build. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being present.
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