People rarely resist what they help to create is one of those simple truths that completely changes how you lead and collaborate. It’s the secret to getting genuine buy-in, not just reluctant compliance. Once you start applying this, you’ll see engagement levels skyrocket.
Share Image Quote:At its core, this is about the psychology of ownership. When people have a hand in building something, they feel a sense of pride and ownership that automatically dissolves resistance.
Let me tell you, I’ve seen this play out so many times. It’s not about manipulation; it’s about co-creation. Think about it. If you’re just handed a plan and told to execute, your first instinct is to find the flaws, the problems. But if you’re in the room from the beginning, if your ideas are woven into the fabric of the plan, that plan becomes your plan. You’re not fighting it; you’re fighting for it. It’s a fundamental shift from being a passenger to being a driver. And that’s a game-changer for team dynamics.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Skill (416) |
| Topics | collaboration (17), influence (70), ownership (20) |
| Literary Style | memorable (234), plain (102) |
| Emotion / Mood | encouraging (304) |
| Overall Quote Score | 87 (185) |
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s 2003 book, How to Talk to Anyone, which was published in the United States. You might sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific, powerful phrasing is hers.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | People rarely resist what they help to create |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 81: Shared Ownership, Approximate page 314 from 2018 edition |
In her book, Lowndes is talking about the art of connection and influence. This quote isn’t presented as a grand management theory, but as a practical, almost tactical piece of wisdom for making people feel valued and heard in conversations, which in turn makes them far more receptive to your ideas.
So how do you actually use this? It’s all about asking, not telling.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1754) |
| Audiences | leaders (2620), managers (441), students (3112), teachers (1125) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | leadership programs (172), motivational coaching (15), negotiations (10), team workshops (29) |
Question: Does this mean every decision has to be made by committee?
Answer: Not at all. It’s about the process, not the final say. You can still be the decider, but by incorporating people’s input, you make them feel heard and invested in the outcome, which is what really matters.
Question: What if someone’s ideas are just… bad?
Answer: Great question. You don’t have to use every idea. The magic is in the act of listening and considering. Acknowledge the contribution, explain the constraints you’re working within, and you’ll still get that buy-in. It’s about respect.
Question: Is this just another way to manipulate people?
Answer: Only if your intent is wrong. If you’re genuinely seeking collaboration and valuing input, it’s empowerment. If you’re just going through the motions to get your own way, people will see right through it. Authenticity is non-negotiable here.
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