People will forget what you said they will Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

In the book, this isn’t just a nice thought. It’s a practical leadership tool. The authors place it squarely in the middle of discussing how to build trust and motivate people. They’re arguing that your technical skills might get you the job, but your emotional intelligence—how you make people feel—is what makes you a true leader that people want to follow.

Usage Examples

So how do you actually use this? It’s a gut-check question for any interaction.

• For Managers: Before giving feedback, ask yourself: “Am I about to make this person feel supported and capable, or criticized and defeated?” The words matter less than the feeling of safety you create.
• For Sales & Marketing: Stop just listing features. Your goal is to make a prospect feel understood, confident, and excited about the solution. That feeling closes deals, not the spec sheet.
• For Anyone in a Team: In meetings, are you making your colleagues feel heard and valued? Or are you just waiting for your turn to talk? The feeling of collaboration you foster is what builds a strong, resilient team.

To whom it appeals?

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FAQ

Question: Does this mean the content of what I say doesn’t matter at all?

Answer: Not at all. Of course the content matters. But this principle highlights that the emotional context is the amplifier. Great content delivered poorly is forgotten. Good content delivered in a way that makes people feel incredible becomes unforgettable.

Question: How can I be more intentional about how I make people feel?

Answer: Start with self-awareness. After key conversations, just take 30 seconds to reflect. “How do I think I made that person feel?” Then, practice active listening. It’s hard to make someone feel bad when you’re genuinely trying to understand their perspective.

Question: Is this just about being nice all the time?

Answer: Absolutely not. This is about being effective. Sometimes you have to be firm or deliver hard truths. The key is to do it in a way that makes the person feel respected, not belittled. You can make someone feel accountable while still making them feel valued. It’s a skill.