Perfectionism is just another form of fear. It sounds counterintuitive, right? But once you see it, you can’t unsee it. It’s the fear of judgment, of being seen as flawed, that drives the obsession with being perfect.
Share Image Quote:At its core, this quote reframes perfectionism not as a virtue, but as a defense mechanism. It’s not about high standards; it’s about high-stakes self-protection.
Let me break this down for you. We often wear perfectionism as a badge of honor, like “Oh, I’m such a perfectionist,” thinking it means we’re diligent. But Lowndes is spot-on. It’s a mask. It’s the fear of failure, the fear of criticism, the fear of not being good enough that makes us obsess over every tiny detail. We get paralyzed because starting something feels terrifying if the outcome isn’t guaranteed to be flawless. It’s a sneaky, socially-acceptable form of procrastination and self-sabotage. It’s fear in a business suit.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3690) |
| Category | Personal Development (698) |
| Topics | fear (93), growth (413), perfectionism (24) |
| Literary Style | direct (415), reflective (255) |
| Emotion / Mood | honest (52) |
| Overall Quote Score | 84 (319) |
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s 2002 book, Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work, published in the United States. You might see it floating around online unattributed or linked to other self-help figures, but its true home is in Lowndes’s work on overcoming social anxiety.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4052) |
| Source/Book Name | Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work (50) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3690) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4052) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | Perfectionism is just another form of fear |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2000; ISBN: 9780071412946; Last edition: McGraw-Hill, 2004; Number of pages: 304 |
| Where is it? | Chapter 25: The Fear Behind Perfection, Approximate page from 2004 edition |
In the book, this insight isn’t in a chapter about work productivity. It’s in the context of battling shyness and social anxiety. Lowndes positions it as a major roadblock—the fear of saying the wrong thing, of not being witty or interesting enough, which stops people from connecting altogether. Perfectionism becomes the excuse for not engaging.
This quote is a powerful reframe for so many people. I use it all the time.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1755) |
| Audiences | leaders (2630), performers (37), students (3118), writers (365) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | creative workshops (32), motivational blogs (85), personal journals (12), self-help talks (18), therapy sessions (129) |
Question: Isn’t striving for excellence a good thing? How is that different?
Answer: Great question. Excellence is about growth and doing your best. Perfectionism is about avoiding judgment. One is motivated by passion, the other by fear. Excellence says “This can be better.” Perfectionism says “This isn’t good enough, so I’m a failure.” Big difference.
Question: So how do you actually overcome this kind of fear?
Answer: You have to embrace “good enough.” Set a timer. Give yourself permission to create a “crappy first draft.” Action is the antidote to this fear. Every time you complete something imperfectly and the world doesn’t end, you rewire that fear response.
Question: Can perfectionism ever be positive?
Answer: In very rare, high-stakes fields like surgery or aerospace engineering, sure, precision is non-negotiable. But for 99% of our daily lives and creative endeavors, it’s a hindrance. It’s usually about ego and fear, not safety or quality.
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