Real confidence is quiet. It doesn’t need to announce itself… and understanding that distinction is a total game-changer. It’s about the shift from performing competence to simply being competent. Let’s break down why this idea is so powerful.
Share Image Quote:At its core, this quote separates true, internal self-assurance from the loud, external performance of confidence. One is substance, the other is just noise.
Here’s the thing I’ve seen over and over. When someone is genuinely confident, they’re not trying to prove anything. They listen more than they talk. Their work speaks for itself. They don’t get into petty arguments to show they’re right because their sense of worth isn’t on the line. It’s an unshakable internal state. The people who are constantly telling you how great they are, how much they know, how successful they are? That’s often a sign of deep-seated insecurity. It’s like they’re trying to convince themselves as much as they’re trying to convince you. Real confidence is a quiet understanding of your own capabilities and, just as importantly, your own limitations.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3670) |
| Category | Personal Development (698) |
| Topics | confidence (101), humility (61), presence (80) |
| Literary Style | balanced (59), minimalist (442) |
| Emotion / Mood | lively (108) |
| Overall Quote Score | 83 (302) |
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s classic 2003 book, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. It’s a staple in the communication and self-help space. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, attributed vaguely to “ancient wisdom” or other authors, but this specific phrasing is Lowndes’s.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3670) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | Real confidence is quiet. It doesn’t need to announce itself |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter: Quiet Confidence; Approximate page from 2003 edition: 410 |
In the book, this idea isn’t presented in a vacuum. It’s woven into her strategies for building instant rapport and making people feel comfortable around you. The underlying message is that quiet confidence is magnetic. It puts people at ease and makes them want to connect with you, whereas loud, boastful energy tends to do the opposite.
So, how does this play out in the real world? Let me give you a couple of scenarios.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1754) |
| Audiences | coaches (1277), entrepreneurs (1008), leaders (2620), speakers (93), students (3113) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | leadership coaching (130), motivational writing (240), personal growth blogs (28), self-confidence training (2) |
Question: Isn’t being quiet sometimes perceived as a lack of confidence?
Answer: It’s a great question. There’s a big difference between being quietly confident and being timid. Timidity is rooted in fear. Quiet confidence is rooted in strength. It’s the difference between choosing not to speak and being afraid to speak. Your body language—a calm demeanor, steady eye contact—communicates the confidence even when you’re silent.
Question: How do you build this kind of quiet confidence?
Answer: It’s a practice, not a switch you flip. It starts with competence. Get really, really good at what you do. Then, it’s about self-acceptance. Acknowledge your weaknesses without letting them define you. And finally, shift your focus from “How am I being perceived?” to “How can I contribute?” or “What can I learn from this person?”
Question: So, should I never talk about my accomplishments?
Answer: Not at all! It’s about context and intent. There’s a world of difference between strategically sharing a relevant success story to illustrate a point and constantly dropping your resume into casual conversation. One is informative, the other is insecure.
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