You know, “Receiving appreciation honestly is as important” might sound simple, but it’s a game-changer. Most of us are terrible at taking a compliment, and that actually breaks the cycle of genuine connection. It’s not just about being polite; it’s about completing the emotional exchange.
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Table of Contents
Meaning
The core message is that gratitude is a two-way street. It’s a complete circuit. If you can’t receive appreciation openly, you’re actually blocking the flow of positive energy and undermining the person giving it.
Explanation
Let me break this down. We spend so much time learning how to *give* praise effectively, right? But we’re never taught how to *receive* it. So when someone compliments us, we deflect. We say “oh, it was nothing” or “anyone could have done it.”
Here’s the thing—when you do that, you’re unintentionally rejecting the other person’s vulnerable expression of gratitude. You’re basically telling them their feelings are misplaced. Receiving honestly means taking it in, letting it land, and acknowledging the need for connection that was just met. It’s the other half of the dance. And without it, the dance just… stops.
Quote Summary
Reading Level70
Aesthetic Score70
Origin & Factcheck
This comes straight from Marshall B. Rosenberg’s seminal work, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. The book was first published in the United States back in 1999, and this concept is a key part of his framework for compassionate communication. You won’t find it misattributed to other self-help gurus; this is pure NVC.
Attribution Summary
Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Receiving appreciation honestly is as important as giving it |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 9781892005038; Last edition: 3rd Edition (2015); Number of pages: 264. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 10: Expressing Appreciation, Page 179 (2015 edition) |
Context
In the book, this isn’t just a nice idea tucked away in a chapter on gratitude. Rosenberg places it right in the middle of discussing how to express and receive empathy. He frames it as a critical skill for preventing burnout in caregivers and for ensuring that appreciation is truly nourishing for both people involved.
Usage Examples
So how do you actually *do* this? It’s a practice. Here’s who needs it and how it looks:
For the Chronic Deflector: Instead of “Oh, this old thing?” when someone compliments your work, try a simple, “Thank you. I’m really glad it resonated with you,” or “Thank you for saying that. I put a lot of care into it and it means a lot to hear that.”
For Leaders & Managers: When your team thanks you for your support, don’t just say “Just doing my job.” Acknowledge the shared success: “Thank you. I really value our collaboration and it was a pleasure to support you in that.” This builds trust and mutual respect.
In Personal Relationships: If your partner expresses appreciation for something you did, don’t brush it off. Look them in the eye and receive it. “It makes me happy to know that I contributed to your happiness.” It deepens the connection instantly.
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FAQ
Question: Isn’t this just about having good manners?
Answer: It’s way deeper than manners. Manners are often about social scripts. This is about authentic connection. It’s the difference between a robotic “you’re welcome” and a genuine acknowledgment that completes an emotional exchange.
Question: How is this different from being arrogant or boastful?
Answer: Great question. Boasting is *claiming* value for yourself. Receiving appreciation honestly is *accepting* the value that someone else is offering you. It’s a humble act of receiving a gift, not shouting your own praises.
Question: What if the appreciation feels insincere or manipulative?
Answer: That’s where the “honestly” part is key. You can still receive it honestly by acknowledging the words and the attempt at connection, without necessarily internalizing it. Something like, “I hear you’re trying to appreciate me right now, thank you.” It keeps you grounded in your own truth.
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