Resilience grows when we reality-check the expectations… This is the secret sauce for building real, unshakeable strength. It’s about dismantling the impossible standards that keep us feeling small.
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Meaning
At its core, this quote means that we build true resilience not by toughening up, but by questioning the very stories that shame tells us about who we’re supposed to be.
Explanation
Let me break this down. Shame is a master storyteller. It hands us a script—expectations of being the perfect parent, the flawless leader, the always-in-control partner. And we just accept it. We internalize it. The “reality-check” is the moment you stop and ask, “Wait, who said that? Is that even humanly possible?” That act of questioning, that conscious uncoupling from the script, is where the real growth happens. It’s not about building a thicker skin; it’s about realizing the skin you have is already enough. You’re not building a fortress, you’re realizing you were never actually under siege in the first place.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Education (260) |
| Topics | expectation (16), reality (19), resilience (106) |
| Literary Style | concise (408), instructional (42) |
| Emotion / Mood | determined (116), encouraging (304) |
| Overall Quote Score | 67 (29) |
Origin & Factcheck
This wisdom comes straight from the research of Dr. Brené Brown. It was published in her 2004 book, Women & Shame: Reaching Out, Speaking Truths, which came out of the United States. You won’t find this one falsely attributed to others—it’s pure, unadulterated Brené, born from her years of studying vulnerability and courage.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Women & Shame: Reaching Out, Speaking Truths (39) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Resilience grows when we reality-check the expectations that shame hands us |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 2004; (other edition details unknown) |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2004 Hazelden edition, Chapter: Expectations and Culture |