You know that feeling when someone gives you a smile that just doesn’t reach their eyes? That’s what Leil Lowndes tackles. “Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth” is about creating a genuine connection. It’s the difference between a polite gesture and a powerful tool for building trust and rapport instantly.
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Meaning
It’s about the difference between a performed, polite smile and a warm, authentic one that radiates from within. The mouth can lie, but the eyes rarely do.
Explanation
Let me break it down for you. We’ve all been on the receiving end of a “customer service smile”—tight, quick, and it never quite touches the eyes. It feels transactional. Empty. Now, contrast that with a warm smile. This is the one where the skin around your eyes crinkles—those little crow’s feet are a badge of authenticity. It’s slower to form and slower to fade. This kind of smile activates different muscles, the ones around your eyes that are incredibly difficult to fake consciously. When you smile with your eyes, you’re signaling to the other person’s primal brain that you are present, you are engaged, and you are not a threat. It’s a non-verbal handshake that says, “I see you, and I’m happy to be here with you.” It builds an immediate bridge of trust.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Relationship (329) |
| Topics | body language (10), confidence (100), connection (265) |
| Literary Style | practical (126), simple (291) |
| Emotion / Mood | accepting (13), warm (182) |
| Overall Quote Score | 67 (29) |
Origin & Factcheck
This insight comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s classic 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, published in the United States. You might see similar sentiments floating around, sometimes misattributed to Dale Carnegie, but the specific phrasing and the concept as a distinct “trick” is Lowndes’s.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. A warm smile shows genuine interest and confidence |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter: How to Make Your Smile Magically Different; Approximate page from 2003 edition: 24 |