Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

In the book, this isn’t just a throwaway line. It’s nestled among her “92 little tricks” as a foundational principle for building rapport. Lowndes frames it as a powerful tool to make the other person feel like the most important person in the room, which is the bedrock of any successful relationship, personal or professional.

Usage Examples

So, where does this actually work? Let me give you a couple of scenarios I see all the time.

First, think about a team member who’s frustrated with a project. Instead of jumping in with “Well, have you tried X?” just listen. Nod. Say “That sounds incredibly frustrating.” You’ll be amazed at how they often arrive at their own solution, and they’ll trust you more for it.

Or, in your personal life, a friend is telling you about a loss or a tough time. The instinct is to say “I understand” or share your own story. Resist it. Just be there with them. Your silent understanding is a louder message of support than any cliché. This is gold for managers, partners, parents… honestly, anyone who wants to deepen their connections.

To whom it appeals?

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FAQ

Question: Does this mean I should never say anything?

Answer: Not at all! It means your first response shouldn’t be to talk. Listen first, truly understand, and then if a response is needed, it will be infinitely more insightful.

Question: What if the silence feels awkward?

Answer: It usually feels more awkward to you than to them. They’re processing their own thoughts. A simple, “Take your time, I’m here,” can ease the tension without you taking over the conversation.

Question: Is this effective in a conflict?

Answer: Incredibly so. When someone is angry and you listen without immediately defending or explaining, you de-escalate the situation instantly. It shows you respect their perspective enough to hear it fully.