You know, the best communicators make others feel brilliant, not small—and honestly, that’s the secret sauce to building real influence. It’s not about being the smartest person in the room; it’s about making everyone else feel like they are. Once you shift your focus to elevating others, your relationships and results transform completely.
Share Image Quote:At its heart, this quote is about shifting the goal of communication from self-promotion to empowering others. It’s the difference between a conversation that’s a competition and one that’s a collaboration.
Let me break this down from my own experience. So many people, especially in business, think communication is about proving their own intelligence. They interrupt, they correct tiny details, they one-up stories. It’s a dominance game. And it might make them feel big in the moment, but it shrinks everyone else.
The real pros do the exact opposite. They ask insightful questions that make you articulate your own genius. They listen so intently you feel like your ideas are the most important thing in the world. They build on your points, giving you credit. The result? You walk away from that conversation feeling 10 feet tall, buzzing with energy, and you associate that incredible feeling directly with them. That’s how you build unwavering loyalty and trust. It’s not manipulation; it’s a genuine focus on the other person’s value.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Skill (416) |
| Topics | communication (196), encouragement (8), respect (76) |
| Literary Style | affirmative (75), motivational (245), poetic (635) |
| Emotion / Mood | inspiring (392) |
| Overall Quote Score | 89 (88) |
This wisdom comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s classic 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the United States. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific, powerful phrasing is uniquely hers from that work.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | The best communicators make others feel brilliant, not small |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 48: The Spotlight Principle, Approximate page 197 from 2018 edition |
In the book, this isn’t just a nice idea tucked away in a chapter. It’s the underlying philosophy for all 92 of her “little tricks.” Every technique—from listening beyond the words to making people feel like the only person in the room—is designed to achieve this one outcome: making the other person feel brilliant.
So how do you actually do this? It’s in the micro-behaviors.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1754) |
| Audiences | coaches (1277), leaders (2620), students (3112), teachers (1125) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | communication workshops (65), leadership seminars (97), public speaking (57), relationship training (45) |
Question: Isn’t this just being manipulative?
Answer: Only if your intent is selfish. If your genuine goal is to see and uplift the other person, it’s the opposite of manipulation—it’s authentic connection. The focus is on them, not you.
Question: What if the other person is actually wrong?
Answer: Great question. You don’t have to agree with them. But you can still make them feel heard and respected. Try, “That’s a really interesting perspective. Can you walk me through how you got there?” This opens a dialogue instead of shutting them down.
Question: How do I stop myself from wanting to sound smart?
Answer: It’s a habit to break. I had to consciously tell myself before meetings: “Your goal is to be interested, not interesting.” It reframes the entire interaction. The need to prove yourself diminishes when you’re focused on discovering value in others.
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