You know, “The best thing about emotions is they can be managed” is such a game-changer. It completely reframes our relationship with our feelings, turning them from unpredictable forces into something we can actually work with. It’s the core of what makes emotional intelligence so powerful in practice.
Share Image Quote:This quote means our emotions aren’t just random, automatic reactions. They’re more like raw data or energy that we have the ability to channel and influence, rather than being controlled by them.
Look, for the longest time, we were taught to either suppress emotions or just let them run the show. Goleman flips that script. He’s saying, no, you can actually become the conductor of your own emotional orchestra. It’s not about shutting down the anger or the anxiety. It’s about recognizing it, understanding the message it’s trying to send, and then choosing a skillful response. That’s the management part. And directing? That’s the real magic. It’s about using that emotional energy—the drive from passion, the focus from a little bit of healthy stress—and pointing it toward a goal. It’s a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. But once you get it, it changes everything.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Personal Development (697) |
| Topics | control (58), emotion general (105) |
| Literary Style | direct (414), practical (126) |
| Emotion / Mood | calm (491), empowering (174) |
| Overall Quote Score | 78 (178) |
This idea comes straight from Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, which was published in the United States. You sometimes see this sentiment floating around attributed to random self-help gurus, but the core framework and this specific phrasing are Goleman’s, based on his synthesis of the psychological research at the time.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Dr Daniel Goleman (50) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (54) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
| Official Website
| Quotation | The best thing about emotions is that they can be managed and directed |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1995; ISBN: 978-0553375060; Last edition: 2005; Number of pages: 352 |
| Where is it? | Chapter: Managing Anxiety, Approximate page 207 from 2005 edition |
In the book, this isn’t just a nice thought. It’s the practical conclusion of a bigger argument. Goleman spends chapters showing how the emotional brain (the limbic system) can hijack the rational brain (the neocortex). This quote is the solution—the hopeful part. It’s his way of saying, “The hijacking is possible, but so is reclaiming control.” It’s the entire premise for developing EQ.
Here’s how I’ve seen this play out in real life:
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Advice (652) |
| Audiences | coaches (1277), leaders (2619), students (3111), therapists (555) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | leadership training (259), motivation workshops (19), personal growth talks (52), self-control classes (1) |
Question: Does “managing” emotions mean suppressing them?
Answer: Absolutely not. That’s the biggest misconception. Suppression is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater—it eventually explodes. Management is about acknowledgment and regulation. You feel it, you name it, and then you decide what to do with it.
Question: But aren’t some emotions, like grief, impossible to manage?
Answer: Great point. “Manage” doesn’t mean “make go away.” With something like grief, management looks like giving yourself permission to feel it fully, but also consciously directing yourself toward support systems and self-care, so the emotion doesn’t completely consume you. It’s about navigating it, not stopping it.
Question: How is this different from just thinking positively?
Answer: Positive thinking can sometimes be a form of avoidance. This is grittier. It’s about working with your negative emotions, not just covering them up with a happy thought. It’s emotional agility, not denial.
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