The best way to teach values is to live them out loud.
Is one of those quotes that seems simple until you try it. It’s about embodying your principles so fully that your actions become the lesson. Forget just telling people what matters; you have to show them with your life.
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Meaning
It means that authentic, lived action is a far more powerful teacher than any lecture or instruction manual ever could be.
Explanation
Rosenberg is hitting on a fundamental truth here. We’ve all been in situations where someone is telling us to be patient, to be kind, to be honest, but they’re doing it with impatience, with judgment, with little white lies. And what happens? The message gets completely lost. It becomes noise. The real teaching, the teaching that sinks into the bones, is what you do. It’s the out loud part that’s so crucial. It’s not about quietly holding a value in your heart, it’s about making it visible, audible, and tangible in your daily interactions. When you live your values out loud, you’re not just a teacher, you’re a living, breathing proof that those values are possible and powerful.
Summary
| Category | Wisdom (23) |
|---|---|
| Topics | example (1), integrity (3), values (6) |
| Style | direct (24), memorable (23) |
| Mood | encouraging (17), honest (4) |
Origin & Factcheck
| Author | Marshall B. Rosenberg (4) |
|---|---|
| Book | Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way (4) |
Quotation Source:
| The best way to teach values is to live them out loud |
| Publication Year/Date: 2004; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781892005140; Last edition: PuddleDancer Press, 1st Edition, 48 pages. |
| Chapter: Living Values, Approximate page from 2004 edition |
Context
In the book, Rosenberg is specifically talking to parents who are frustrated that their kids aren’t listening. His radical shift is this: stop trying to control their behavior with demands and punishments. Instead, focus on modeling the empathy, honesty, and respect you want to see. The parent becomes the primary example, not the primary enforcer.
Usage Examples
So, who can use this? Honestly, everyone. But let’s get specific.
For a Manager: Don’t just preach about work-life balance. Actually log off at 5 PM, don’t send emails on weekends, and take your vacation days. Your team will see that and internalize that it’s not just corporate lip service.
For a Parent: Instead of yelling BE PATIENT! from the kitchen, take a deep, audible breath when you’re frustrated. Say, “I’m feeling a little impatient right now, so I’m going to count to ten.” You’re showing them the tool, not just naming it.
For Anyone in a Relationship: If you value appreciation, don’t wait for it. Start vocalizing your gratitude for the small things your partner does. You living that value out loud often inspires them to reflect it back.
To whom it appeals?
| Audience | coaches (70), leaders (177), parents (52), students (275), teachers (110) |
|---|---|
This quote can be used in following contexts: leadership workshops,motivational blogs,education programs,ethics courses,family development talks
FAQ
Question: What if I try to live my values but people still don’t get it?
Answer: That’s the tough part. This isn’t a manipulation tactic, it’s an integrity practice. The goal isn’t to control their behavior but to align your own. The influence is a long-game, not a quick fix.
Question: Does “out loud” mean I have to be performative?
Answer: No. It’s not about being theatrical. It’s about being intentional and transparent. It’s the difference between silently fuming (living a value quietly) and calmly stating a boundary (living it out loud).
Question: Is this only for positive values?
Answer: No. This principle works both ways. If you consistently complain, you’re teaching pessimism. If you consistently interrupt, you’re teaching that other people’s voices don’t matter. We’re always teaching through our actions, for better or worse.
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