The more we practice emotional intelligence the more Meaning Factcheck Usage
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You know, the more we practice emotional intelligence… it really does stop feeling like a skill. It becomes something deeper, a fundamental part of who you are and how you move through the world.

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Meaning

At its core, this means that emotional intelligence (EQ) transitions from being a conscious effort to an automatic, ingrained part of your personality.

Explanation

Okay, let me break this down. Think about learning to drive a car. At first, it’s all checklists and clumsy movements—mirror, signal, maneuver, clutch, brake. It’s a defined skill set. But after years of driving? You just *do* it. You’re not thinking about the steps; you’re just navigating the road, anticipating other drivers, feeling the flow of traffic. That’s what Goleman is talking about. With consistent practice, EQ shifts from a toolkit you consciously open to your default operating system. It’s the difference between *doing* empathy and *being* empathetic. It becomes who you are, not just what you do.

Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryPersonal Development (697)
Topicsemotion general (105), growth (413), habits (85)
Literary Stylebalanced (59), reflective (255)
Emotion / Moodencouraging (304), hopeful (357)
Overall Quote Score80 (256)
Reading Level71
Aesthetic Score81

Origin & Factcheck

This insight comes straight from Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, which really kicked off the mainstream conversation about EQ. While the core ideas about social and emotional learning have older roots, this specific phrasing is Goleman’s, crystallizing a powerful concept for a global audience.

Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorDr Daniel Goleman (50)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (54)
Origin TimeperiodContemporary (1615)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
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Where is this quotation located?

QuotationThe more we practice emotional intelligence, the more it becomes a way of life rather than a skill set
Book DetailsPublication Year: 1995; ISBN: 978-0553375060; Last edition: 2005; Number of pages: 352
Where is it?Chapter: Developing Emotional Intelligence, Approximate page 317 from 2005 edition

Authority Score90

Context

Goleman was making the case that EQ isn’t some soft, fluffy concept. He positioned it as a critical, measurable form of intelligence that can be developed. This quote sits within his larger argument that this development isn’t just about adding skills, but about fundamentally rewiring our neural pathways through practice.

Usage Examples

This is where it gets practical. You can use this idea with:

  • Team Leaders: Explain that team-building exercises and feedback sessions aren’t one-off events. They’re practice sessions. The goal is to build a culture where high-EQ interactions are the norm, not the exception.
  • Coaches & Mentors: Frame personal development not as “fixing” a weakness, but as building a new habit of mind. It’s about moving from “I should listen better” to “I am a good listener.”
  • Anyone Feeling Frustrated: For someone who feels they’re “bad” at this, it’s a message of hope. It acknowledges the initial effort and promises that it gets easier, more natural, over time.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
ThemeWisdom (1754)
Audiencescoaches (1277), employees (92), leaders (2619), students (3111)
Usage Context/Scenarioleadership coaching (130), personal growth events (15), self-improvement books (29), team development sessions (3)

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Motivation Score76
Popularity Score83
Shareability Score79

FAQ

Question: Is this really true? It feels like some people are just “naturals.”

Answer: Absolutely. Some people have a head start, for sure, maybe from their upbringing. But the neuroscience of neuroplasticity backs this up—the brain literally changes with repeated practice. It’s a muscle anyone can build.

Question: How long does it take for it to become “a way of life”?

Answer: There’s no magic number. It’s not like getting a degree. It’s a gradual shift. You’ll notice it in small moments first—catching yourself before you react angrily, genuinely feeling curious about a colleague’s perspective without forcing it. That’s the transition happening.

Question: What’s the first step to start this practice?

Answer: Self-awareness. Just start noticing your own emotions without judgment. Name them. “I am feeling frustrated right now.” That simple act is the very first rep in the workout. It’s the foundation everything else is built on.

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