The more you care about results the more Meaning Factcheck Usage
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You know, I’ve seen this play out so many times. The more you care about results, the more you should care about relationships. It sounds simple, but it’s a game-changer. It’s the secret sauce that separates frustrating efforts from truly successful outcomes.

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Meaning

This quote flips the script. It tells us that the direct path to a result isn’t a straight line—it’s a relational one. High stakes don’t mean you should bulldoze people; they mean you need to build bridges.

Explanation

Let me break this down. When the pressure is on, our instinct is to focus purely on the goal, the deadline, the bottom line. We get transactional. But here’s the thing I’ve learned the hard way: that’s when you *most* need to be relational.

Think about it. You can’t execute a complex project, navigate a company crisis, or close a big deal by yourself. You need people. And people don’t commit their best efforts for a task; they commit for a person they trust and respect. So, if you really, truly care about that result, your primary job is to foster the psychological safety and trust that makes collaboration possible. It’s counter-intuitive, but it’s the leverage point for everything else.

Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryBusiness (233)
Topicsempathy (143), results (24), trust (147)
Literary Stylelogical (24), memorable (234)
Overall Quote Score84 (319)
Reading Level74
Aesthetic Score84

Origin & Factcheck

This wisdom comes straight from the 2002 classic, “Crucial Conversations,” by the powerhouse team of Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. It’s a cornerstone of their research on high-stakes communication. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific, powerful phrasing is uniquely theirs.

Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorKerry Patterson (35)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameCrucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High (35)
Origin Timeperiod21st Century (1892)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

Kerry Patterson coauthors influential books that help people tackle tough conversations, drive change, and build accountability at work and beyond. He cofounded VitalSmarts (now Crucial Learning) and spent decades developing training that organizations implement globally. He earned a master’s degree from Brigham Young University and completed doctoral work in organizational behavior at Stanford, and he has taught and consulted widely. The Kerry Patterson book list includes Crucial Conversations, Crucial Accountability, Influencer, and Change Anything—bestselling titles that continue to shape modern leadership and communication practices.
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Where is this quotation located?

QuotationThe more you care about results, the more you should care about relationships
Book DetailsPublication Year/Date: 2002; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9780071771320; Last Edition: 3rd Edition (2021); Number of Pages: 272.
Where is it?Chapter: Master My Stories, Approximate page from 2021 edition

Authority Score96

Context

In the book, this isn’t just a nice thought. It’s the foundational principle for handling those make-or-break conversations where opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. The authors argue that the only way to get to a productive outcome in that volatile mix is by first making it safe—by investing in the relationship.

Usage Examples

So, how does this look in the wild?

Imagine a project manager whose launch is behind schedule. The low-road approach is to demand more hours, assign blame. The high-road, relational approach? She pulls the team together and says, “Look, I know everyone is stretched thin. I value your well-being and this team’s health more than hitting this date by burning out. Let’s talk honestly about the real bottlenecks.” That’s caring for the relationship to save the result.

Or a parent with a teenager. The result you want is for them to make good choices. You don’t get that by laying down the law from a place of authority. You get it by investing in the connection, so they *want* to talk to you and consider your perspective.

Who needs this? Honestly, anyone in a leadership role, anyone in a partnership, anyone who is a parent… so, pretty much everyone.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
ThemeWisdom (1754)
Audiencesentrepreneurs (1006), leaders (2619), managers (441), teams (69)
Usage Context/Scenariocorporate coaching (6), leadership talks (101), negotiation training (9), organizational culture sessions (1), team alignment meetings (2)

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Motivation Score80
Popularity Score89
Shareability Score86

FAQ

Question: Doesn’t this take too much time? I need results now.

Answer: It feels that way, I know. But think of the time you waste dealing with misunderstandings, lack of buy-in, and passive resistance. A little time invested in the relationship upfront saves a ton of time fixing problems later.

Question: What if the other person doesn’t care about the relationship?

Answer: Tough spot. But the principle still holds. You can only control your half. By consistently demonstrating respect and focusing on shared goals, you often de-escalate the situation and create an opening for them to engage differently. You have to be the one to model it first.

Question: Is this just about being “nice”?

Answer: Absolutely not. This is about being effective. It’s about being candid and respectful at the same time. It’s the tough, strategic work of maintaining safety so you can solve the real problem, not just the surface-level one.

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