The more you practice confidence, the less you have to fake it… it’s one of those simple truths that completely changes how you approach personal growth. It shifts the focus from performance to process, from pretending to building. Let’s break down why this idea is so powerful.
Share Image Quote:At its core, this quote means that confidence is a skill, not a personality trait. It’s something you build through consistent action, not something you’re just born with.
Look, we’ve all been told to “fake it till you make it,” right? But that always felt a bit… hollow to me. The problem with faking is the internal pressure. You’re constantly worried the mask will slip.
What Leil is saying here is so much more profound. It’s about active practice. Think of it like going to the gym. You don’t fake having biceps; you do curls, you lift weights, and over time, the muscle is just… there. It’s real.
Confidence works the exact same way. Every time you practice—speaking up in a meeting, making that difficult phone call, introducing yourself to a stranger—you’re not faking. You’re doing a rep. You’re building the neural pathway. And eventually, that pathway becomes the default road. The “fake” part just naturally, organically, falls away because you’ve built the real thing underneath it.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Personal Development (697) |
| Topics | confidence (100), growth (413), practice (38) |
| Literary Style | direct (414), motivational (245) |
| Emotion / Mood | optimistic (116), realistic (354) |
| Overall Quote Score | 80 (256) |
This gem comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s 2002 book, Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work, published in the United States. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific, elegant phrasing is hers. It’s grounded in practical self-help, not just pop psychology.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work (50) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | The more you practice confidence, the less you have to fake it |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2000; ISBN: 9780071412946; Last edition: McGraw-Hill, 2004; Number of pages: 304 |
| Where is it? | Chapter 28: Confidence by Practice, Approximate page from 2004 edition |
This quote isn’t just a throwaway line. It’s the central thesis of her “shybusting” method. The book is a manual of actionable exercises, and this idea is the engine behind all of them. It’s the promise that the work leads to a genuine transformation, not just a temporary performance.
I use this all the time with clients and colleagues. Here’s how it plays out:
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Tips (13) |
| Audiences | coaches (1277), introverts (23), leaders (2619), students (3111) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | confidence training (12), personal growth talks (52), public speaking classes (7), self-help sessions (7), social media motivation (2) |
Question: What’s the difference between this and “fake it till you make it”?
Answer: Great question. “Fake it” is about the external perception—acting *as if* you’re confident. “Practice confidence” is about the internal process—performing the specific, small actions that build real confidence from the inside out. One is a mask, the other is muscle memory.
Question: How long does it take for the “faking” to stop?
Answer: It’s different for everyone, but you’ll know. There’s a moment—and it’s fantastic—where you go to do the thing you used to dread, and you realize you didn’t have to mentally prepare for a battle. The anxiety is just… gone. It’s been replaced by competence.
Question: Can you practice confidence even if you’re an introvert?
Answer: Absolutely. This isn’t about turning into a loud extrovert. It’s about building authentic confidence in *your* style. Practicing for an introvert might mean preparing a few talking points beforehand to feel more secure, or giving yourself permission to take quiet breaks. It’s about practicing what works for you.
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