You know, the object of love is not getting something you want… it’s a total game-changer. It flips the whole script on why we love and what we expect from it. Once you get this, your relationships just… level up.
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Meaning
At its core, this quote means that real love is an act of self-giving, not a transaction for personal satisfaction.
Explanation
Let me break this down for you. We’re all kind of hardwired to think, “What’s in it for me?” Right? Chapman is saying true love actively fights that instinct. It’s a shift from being a consumer in the relationship to being a contributor. You’re not looking at your partner as a vending machine that’s supposed to dispense happiness for you. You’re looking at them as a person whose well-being you are now actively responsible for. And honestly, that’s where the real, durable stuff is. The stuff that lasts.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Love (89) |
| Topics | giving (16), kindness (37), selflessness (9) |
| Literary Style | philosophical (434), poetic (635) |
| Emotion / Mood | compassionate (35), gentle (183) |
| Overall Quote Score | 78 (178) |
Origin & Factcheck
This is straight from Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, “The 5 Love Languages,” which he wrote based on his years of marriage counseling in the United States. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around misattributed to spiritual leaders or other authors, but this specific phrasing is Chapman’s.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Gary Chapman (41) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (41) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr. Gary Chapman is a pastor/counselor who authored many books such as Five Love Languages which has transformed millions of relationships. He teaches families and couples on how to express love and care in ways that are understood. He holds multiple degrees from Wheaton, Wake Forest, and Southwestern Seminary, he blends scholarship with real-life counselling. For a quick overview of his works, check this Gary Chapman book list and find tips for better marriage, parenting, and personal growth.
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 1992; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9780802412706; Last edition: Revised Edition (2015); Number of pages: 208 |
| Where is it? | Chapter 7: Love Language #4 – Acts of Service, Approximate page 143, Revised Edition (2015) |