You know, that question “Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be?” hits differently. It’s not about checking parenting boxes; it’s about checking your own character.
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Meaning
The core message is brutally simple: Your most powerful parenting tool isn’t a technique, it’s your own lived example. The focus shifts from “what you do” to “who you are.”
Explanation
Let’s be real. We get so caught up in the *what*—what curriculum to use, what rules to set, what activities to enroll them in. But Brené is pointing to the *who*. Kids are absolute masters at spotting the gap between what we say and what we do. They’re not listening to our lectures nearly as much as they’re studying our lives. Are you handling frustration with grace or with yelling? Are you showing compassion to others, and to yourself? That’s the real curriculum. It’s about integrity, not a perfect performance. It forces you to confront your own stuff, which is honestly the hardest and most rewarding part of the job.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Wisdom (385) |
| Topics | example (15), values (51) |
| Literary Style | rhetorical (4) |
| Emotion / Mood | challenging (24), inspiring (392), thoughtful (16) |
| Overall Quote Score | 86 (262) |
Origin & Factcheck
This insight comes straight from Brené Brown’s 2013 audiobook, The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting. It originated from her work in the United States, grounded in decades of research on shame, vulnerability, and wholehearted living. You won’t find it misattributed to others; it’s pure, potent Brené.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection (35) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | The question isn't so much 'Are you parenting the right way?' as it is 'Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be?' |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2013; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 978-1611801053; Last edition: 1st Edition (Sounds True, 2013). Number of pages: 160. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2013 edition, Chapter: Parenting with Courage |