You know, the secret of success is learning how to use pain… it’s not about avoiding discomfort. It’s about flipping the script so your brain works for you, not against you. That’s the real game-changer.
Share Image Quote:It means you become the driver of your own life, not a passenger reacting to every bump in the road. You consciously link pain to bad habits and pleasure to positive actions.
Look, our brains are wired to move toward pleasure and away from pain. It’s a basic survival mechanism. But here’s the thing—most of us are on autopilot, letting that mechanism run wild. We feel a little discomfort from the gym and we quit. We get the immediate pleasure of scrolling social media instead of doing the hard work. Robbins is saying you have to hack that system. You have to consciously, deliberately, attach massive pain to the behaviors you want to avoid—like, really feel the future consequences of procrastination. And you attach massive pleasure to the actions that lead to your goals. You make the process of growth itself rewarding. It’s about taking conscious control. It’s a skill you develop.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Success (341) |
| Topics | discipline (252), motivation (113), pain (20), pleasure (3), success general (86) |
| Literary Style | analytical (121) |
| Emotion / Mood | provocative (175) |
| Overall Quote Score | 85 (305) |
This is straight from Tony Robbins’s 1991 book, Awaken the Giant Within. It’s a cornerstone of his teaching, especially in the section on “The Force That Shapes All Life.” You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific phrasing is authentically his.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Tony Robbins (102) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny! (44) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Born Anthony J. Mahavoric in 1960, Tony Robbins rose from a challenging childhood to become a leading voice in personal development. He started as Jim Rohn’s assistant, then built Robbins Research International and created globally attended seminars such as Unleash the Power Within and Date With Destiny. The Tony Robbins book list spans self-help, business, finance, and health, with several No. 1 bestsellers. He co-authored finance works with Peter Mallouk and a longevity guide with Peter H. Diamandis and Robert Hariri. Robbins’ foundation supports youth, prison, and hunger-relief programs.
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| Quotation | The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1991; ISBN: 978-0-671-79154-8; Last edition: Simon & Schuster, 2013; Number of pages: 544. |
| Where is it? | Chapter: The Force That Shapes Your Life, Approximate page from 2013 edition: 43 |
In the book, this idea is part of a larger framework for what he calls “Neuro-Associative Conditioning.” He’s laying the groundwork for the idea that you can recondition your brain’s responses. It’s not just a motivational one-liner; it’s presented as a practical, usable psychological tool for lasting change.
So how do you actually use this? Let me give you a couple of ways I’ve seen it work.
First, for procrastinators. Instead of just thinking “I should work on that report,” you vividly imagine the pain of missing the deadline—the stress, the disappointed boss, the hit to your reputation. Then, you associate intense pleasure with getting it done early—the feeling of freedom, the pride, the extra time you get back. You’re using the pain and pleasure, not just feeling them.
Second, for someone trying to build a new habit, like exercising. You stop seeing the workout as pure pain. You start associating pleasure with the feeling of strength afterward, the mental clarity, the long-term health benefits. And you associate real pain with skipping—the sluggishness, the guilt, the thought of losing progress.
This is for anyone who feels like their impulses are running the show—entrepreneurs, students, creatives, anyone in a personal development journey.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Principle (838) |
| Audiences | coaches (1277), leaders (2620), motivational speakers (63), students (3112), therapists (555) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | career development talks (21), discipline training (10), motivational seminars (59), psychology lectures (34), self-help content (10) |
Question: Isn’t this just positive thinking?
Answer: Not at all. Positive thinking is often passive. This is active conditioning. It’s a deliberate process of changing the deep-seated associations in your nervous system. It’s more like behavioral psychology in action.
Question: How long does it take to see results?
Answer: It starts working the moment you consciously do it. But to rewire a deep-seated habit? Consistency is key. You might feel a shift in a few days, but for it to become automatic, you’re looking at weeks of practice. It’s a muscle.
Question: What if I can’t make the new habit feel pleasurable?
Answer: That’s the whole challenge. You have to get creative. Link it to a reward. Focus on the secondary gains—the respect, the confidence, the results. Sometimes the pleasure is simply the absence of the pain you used to feel. It’s a skill you develop.
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