The way you listen is often more important… it’s a game-changer. This isn’t about being quiet; it’s about active, strategic listening that builds real trust and connection, making your words land with far more impact.
Share Image Quote:It means the quality of your attention often outweighs the quality of your advice. You build rapport not by talking, but by how you receive what others are sharing.
Let me tell you, I’ve seen this play out a thousand times. People get so focused on crafting the perfect thing to say next, the killer point, the witty remark. But the real magic? It happens in the silence between their words and yours. When you truly listen—and I mean lean in listen, with your whole body and without mentally rehearsing your response—you’re sending the most powerful message of all: “You matter. I get you.” That validation, that feeling of being understood, is what people remember. It’s what builds the foundation for everything else. Your words, no matter how brilliant, are just noise without that foundation.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Skill (416) |
| Topics | empathy (143), listening (91), trust (147) |
| Literary Style | clear (348), minimalist (442) |
| Emotion / Mood | calm (491), reflective (382) |
| Overall Quote Score | 72 (65) |
This comes straight from Leil Lowndes’s classic 1999 book, How to Talk to Anyone, published in the United States. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific phrasing is hers—a core part of her 92 “tricks” for building better relationships.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Leil Lowndes (235) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (185) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1615) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Leil Lowndes writes about striking conversations with unknown people and how to put others at ease and maintain relationships. Her techniques are straightforward and practically usable that readers can apply immediately in their workplace, and everyday life. Her book list includes How to Talk to Anyone and Goodbye to Shy which have reached international audiences.
Official Website |Facebook | X | YouTube |
| Quotation | The way you listen is often more important than the words you say |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1999; ISBN: 978-0-07-141858-4; Last edition: 2018; Number of pages: 368. |
| Where is it? | Chapter: How to Be an Active Listener; Approximate page from 2003 edition: 56 |
Lowndes places this idea firmly in the realm of social and professional success. It’s not just a nice thought; it’s a practical tool. In the book, it’s surrounded by techniques for making a great first impression, building instant rapport, and making the other person feel like the most important person in the room. The listening is the engine for all of that.
Think about it. Who needs this?
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Principle (838) |
| Audiences | counselors (241), friends (67), leaders (2619), parents (430), students (3111) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | conflict resolution (31), leadership coaching (130), relationship counseling (67), team communication workshops (5), therapy sessions (129) |
Question: But what if I’m naturally quiet? Does this mean I have an advantage?
Answer: Absolutely. It’s not about the volume of your voice, but the quality of your attention. Quiet people often make the best listeners because they’re comfortable with silence and process information deeply.
Question: How is this different from just waiting for my turn to talk?
Answer: That’s the whole trap! Active listening is an engaged, empathetic process. You’re listening to understand their perspective and emotions, not just to find a pause where you can insert your own story.
Question: Can this really work in a fast-paced business meeting?
Answer: It’s especially powerful there. When you listen intently, you catch nuances others miss. You understand the real objections, the hidden agendas. That allows you to respond with surgical precision, saving everyone time and building a reputation as someone who truly gets it.
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