To feel is to be vulnerable, and that’s the very essence of being alive. It’s a powerful reminder that we can’t selectively numb our emotions. When we shut down pain, we inadvertently shut out joy and connection too.
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Table of Contents
Meaning
The core message is that vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s the fundamental requirement for a full, engaged, and meaningful human experience.
Explanation
Look, here’s the thing I’ve seen over and over. We’re all running around trying to armor up, to be bulletproof. We think that’s strength. But what Brene is pointing to is that the armor, that need to be invulnerable, it’s what’s actually killing us slowly. It’s like building a fortress with no windows or doors. You’re safe, sure, but you’re also in the dark, completely cut off from life itself. True aliveness, the messy, beautiful, heart-expanding kind, only happens when we dare to feel, and feeling, by its very nature, means we’re open to being hurt, to being seen, to not having all the answers. That’s the vulnerability. And that’s the price of admission for a life that’s truly worth living.
Quote Summary
Reading Level35
Aesthetic Score80
Origin & Factcheck
This quote comes directly from Brene Brown’s 2015 book, Rising Strong as a Spiritual Practice. It’s a core tenet of her research on vulnerability, courage, and shame. You won’t find it correctly attributed to anyone else—this is pure, distilled Brene.
Attribution Summary
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | To feel is to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to be alive |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 2017; ISBN: Unknown (based on her talk and workbook materials); Length: ~60 pages (lecture adaptation, Sounds True audio transcript). |
| Where is it? | Section: Feeling Fully, Approximate Page 43 |
Context
She unpacks this idea within the framework of her “Rising Strong” process, which is all about what happens after we fall. It’s in those moments of struggle and failure, when we’re most tender and exposed, that we have to choose: do we shut down and numb out, or do we lean into the discomfort and feel our way through it? This quote is the anchor for that entire choice.
Usage Examples
This isn’t just theoretical. I use this as a litmus test all the time.
- For a team leader: When a project fails, do you foster a culture of blame (invulnerability) or a post-mortem where people can be honest about their mistakes (vulnerability)? The latter is where real growth and innovation happen.
- For someone in a relationship: Are you holding back from saying “I love you” first, or sharing a deep fear, because you’re scared of the reaction? That’s the exact moment this quote applies. The risk is the reward.
- For a creative: Are you refusing to share your work because it might be criticized? That’s choosing a kind of death over the vulnerable, terrifying, and alive feeling of putting your art into the world.
To whom it appeals?
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Motivation Score75
Popularity Score75
Shareability Score85
FAQ
Question: Isn’t being vulnerable just setting yourself up to get hurt?
Answer: Absolutely. It is. But the alternative—a guarded, closed-off life—is a guarantee that you won’t experience deep joy, connection, or love. It’s about choosing your hard. The pain of occasional hurt, or the slow, quiet pain of disconnection.
Question: How is this practical in a professional setting?
Answer: It’s everything. Think about it. Admitting “I don’t know” or “I was wrong” is a profound act of vulnerability that builds immense trust. It signals psychological safety, which is the number one driver of high-performing teams. Faking certainty is a weakness disguised as strength.
Question: What’s the difference between vulnerability and oversharing?
Answer: Great question. Oversharing is often a download of information without connection, sometimes to manipulate a response. True vulnerability is about sharing your authentic emotion in the moment—fear, shame, uncertainty—with someone who has earned the right to hear it. It’s about trust and boundaries, not just blurting everything out.
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