We are all blind to some truths because Meaning Factcheck Usage
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We are all blind to some truths… because our survival once depended on it. This isn’t about ignorance, it’s a built-in psychological feature. Goleman argues we filter out painful realities to keep functioning, a mechanism that’s both a gift and a curse.

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Meaning

At its core, this quote means that our minds actively filter out information that would be too psychologically devastating or disruptive for us to handle. It’s not a bug; it’s an ancient feature.

Explanation

Let me break this down the way I’ve come to understand it after seeing it play out in teams and companies for years. Think of your consciousness not as a spotlight illuminating everything, but as a bouncer at a very exclusive club. Its main job is to keep the peace. So when a “truth” shows up that’s too threatening, too chaotic, too painful—the bouncer simply doesn’t let it in.

And here’s the crucial part Goleman nails: this was adaptive. For our ancestors, fully grasping their own mortality or the constant dangers around them could have been paralyzing. So the mind developed a brilliant, simple coping mechanism: strategic ignorance. Don’t see what you can’t handle. The problem is, that ancient survival mechanism is now running in a modern world where the “threats” are often complex social dynamics, uncomfortable feedback, or inconvenient facts about our own behavior. We’re blind to the very things we need to see to grow.

Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryLife (320)
Topicsblindness (2), survival (10), truth (77)
Literary Stylereflective (255)
Emotion / Moodsomber (55), understanding (17)
Overall Quote Score76 (131)
Reading Level80
Aesthetic Score79

Origin & Factcheck

This insight comes straight from Daniel Goleman’s 1985 book, Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception. It’s a foundational text that came before his blockbuster work on Emotional Intelligence. You sometimes see this idea floating around unattributed, but it’s pure Goleman, exploring how families and groups collude to ignore painful realities.

Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorDaniel Goleman (125)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameVital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception (61)
Origin TimeperiodModern (530)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
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Where is this quotation located?

QuotationWe are all blind to some truths because our survival once depended on not seeing them
Book DetailsPublication Year: 1985; ISBN: 9780743240156; Last edition: 1996 Harper Perennial; Number of pages: 288.
Where is it?Approximate page from 1996 edition, Chapter 6: The Adaptive Mind

Authority Score91

Context

In the book, Goleman isn’t just talking about individual quirks. He’s building a case for how this blindness operates in systems—like a family that never discusses the elephant in the room, or a company culture that ignores its own toxic processes. The “vital lie” is the collective story we tell ourselves to maintain stability, even when it’s built on a foundation of sand.

Usage Examples

You can use this quote as a gentle, non-confrontational way to introduce self-reflection. It’s incredibly versatile.

  • With a Leadership Team: “Look, I know we’re all frustrated that project failed. But let’s ask ourselves: What truth might we be collectively blind to here because acknowledging it feels too dangerous?” It reframes blame into a shared psychological puzzle.
  • In a Coaching Session: “When you say you ‘don’t know why’ your relationships keep stalling, maybe it’s not about knowing. Maybe it’s about what you’ve been protected from seeing because it was once too painful. Let’s explore that.”
  • For Personal Growth: Just ask yourself: “What’s one truth about my life or my habits that I actively avoid thinking about?” The mere act of asking begins to dissolve the blindness.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
ThemeWisdom (1754)
Audiencesleaders (2619), psychologists (197), readers (72), students (3111)
Usage Context/Scenariolife philosophy discussions (1), mental wellness talks (3), motivational books (76), psychological essays (1), reflection writing (5)

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Motivation Score66
Popularity Score72
Shareability Score70

FAQ

Question: Is this the same as repression?

Answer: Very closely related, yes. But Goleman frames it more as an active, ongoing process of ignoring, often supported by our social environment, not just a one-time event buried in the past.

Question: Can we ever overcome this blindness?

Answer: It’s a lifelong practice, not a final destination. The first step is simply accepting that you have blind spots. Mindfulness, therapy, and seeking candid feedback are all ways to turn on a light in those dark corners.

Question: Does this mean all our beliefs are lies?

Answer: No, not at all. It just means that some of our most stubbornly held “truths” might be protective fictions. The goal isn’t to doubt everything, but to cultivate the humility to question the things that cause us the most pain or conflict.

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