We are all blind to some truths… because our survival once depended on it. This isn’t about ignorance, it’s a built-in psychological feature. Goleman argues we filter out painful realities to keep functioning, a mechanism that’s both a gift and a curse.
Share Image Quote:At its core, this quote means that our minds actively filter out information that would be too psychologically devastating or disruptive for us to handle. It’s not a bug; it’s an ancient feature.
Let me break this down the way I’ve come to understand it after seeing it play out in teams and companies for years. Think of your consciousness not as a spotlight illuminating everything, but as a bouncer at a very exclusive club. Its main job is to keep the peace. So when a “truth” shows up that’s too threatening, too chaotic, too painful—the bouncer simply doesn’t let it in.
And here’s the crucial part Goleman nails: this was adaptive. For our ancestors, fully grasping their own mortality or the constant dangers around them could have been paralyzing. So the mind developed a brilliant, simple coping mechanism: strategic ignorance. Don’t see what you can’t handle. The problem is, that ancient survival mechanism is now running in a modern world where the “threats” are often complex social dynamics, uncomfortable feedback, or inconvenient facts about our own behavior. We’re blind to the very things we need to see to grow.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Life (320) |
| Topics | blindness (2), survival (10), truth (77) |
| Literary Style | reflective (255) |
| Emotion / Mood | somber (55), understanding (17) |
| Overall Quote Score | 76 (131) |
This insight comes straight from Daniel Goleman’s 1985 book, Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception. It’s a foundational text that came before his blockbuster work on Emotional Intelligence. You sometimes see this idea floating around unattributed, but it’s pure Goleman, exploring how families and groups collude to ignore painful realities.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Daniel Goleman (125) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception (61) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Modern (527) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
| Official Website
| Quotation | We are all blind to some truths because our survival once depended on not seeing them |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1985; ISBN: 9780743240156; Last edition: 1996 Harper Perennial; Number of pages: 288. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 1996 edition, Chapter 6: The Adaptive Mind |
In the book, Goleman isn’t just talking about individual quirks. He’s building a case for how this blindness operates in systems—like a family that never discusses the elephant in the room, or a company culture that ignores its own toxic processes. The “vital lie” is the collective story we tell ourselves to maintain stability, even when it’s built on a foundation of sand.
You can use this quote as a gentle, non-confrontational way to introduce self-reflection. It’s incredibly versatile.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1754) |
| Audiences | leaders (2619), psychologists (197), readers (72), students (3111) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | life philosophy discussions (1), mental wellness talks (3), motivational books (76), psychological essays (1), reflection writing (5) |
Question: Is this the same as repression?
Answer: Very closely related, yes. But Goleman frames it more as an active, ongoing process of ignoring, often supported by our social environment, not just a one-time event buried in the past.
Question: Can we ever overcome this blindness?
Answer: It’s a lifelong practice, not a final destination. The first step is simply accepting that you have blind spots. Mindfulness, therapy, and seeking candid feedback are all ways to turn on a light in those dark corners.
Question: Does this mean all our beliefs are lies?
Answer: No, not at all. It just means that some of our most stubbornly held “truths” might be protective fictions. The goal isn’t to doubt everything, but to cultivate the humility to question the things that cause us the most pain or conflict.
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