We are imperfect and wired for struggle is a liberating truth that reframes our entire relationship with failure. It’s not a flaw in our design, but the very essence of it. Understanding this is the first step toward genuine resilience and self-compassion.
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Table of Contents
Meaning
This quote dismantles the myth of perfection. It tells us that our struggles and our imperfections aren’t personal failures; they’re fundamental features of being human.
Explanation
Let me break this down for you. For years, I used to think that the goal was to get to a place where I didn’t struggle, where everything was just… easy. But that’s a trap. Brown is saying our biology, our very wiring, is set up for challenge. It’s how we learn, how we grow, how we build courage. The “imperfect” part is the permission slip. It’s the realization that you don’t have to have it all figured out. In fact, embracing that imperfection is what allows you to show up fully, to be vulnerable, and to actually connect with people on a real level. It’s the difference between performing a perfect life and actually living a wholehearted one.
Quote Summary
Reading Level34
Aesthetic Score74
Origin & Factcheck
This powerful line comes directly from Brené Brown’s 2010 book, The Gifts of Imperfection, which was published in the United States. You might sometimes see it floating around the internet unattributed or paired with a generic inspirational image, but its home is firmly in her groundbreaking research on vulnerability, courage, and shame.
Attribution Summary
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | We are imperfect and wired for struggle |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2010; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781592858491; Last edition. Number of pages. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2010 Hazelden edition |
Context
In the book, this idea is the bedrock of what Brown calls “Wholehearted Living.” She positions this acceptance not as a consolation prize, but as the absolute prerequisite for cultivating qualities like courage, compassion, and connection. You can’t be brave if you’re not willing to be imperfect. It’s that simple.
Usage Examples
So, when do you use this? I’ve found it’s a game-changer in a few key areas.
- For a colleague burning out from perfectionism: “Look, I get it. You’re pushing for that flawless deliverable. But remember what Brené Brown says—we are wired for struggle. This challenge isn’t a sign you’re failing; it’s a sign you’re growing. Let’s focus on progress, not perfection.”
- For a friend who’s ashamed of a personal setback: “You’re being so hard on yourself. Your imperfection is what makes you human, it’s what makes you relatable. It’s literally in your wiring. Give yourself some grace.”
- As a personal mantra during a tough project: When you hit a wall, instead of thinking “I’m not good enough,” you can reframe it: “This is the struggle I’m wired for. What is this teaching me?” It completely changes your internal dialogue.
To whom it appeals?
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Motivation Score78
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FAQ
Question: Does this mean we shouldn’t try to improve ourselves?
Answer: Not at all. It means the opposite. Improvement comes from embracing the messy process of learning and growing, not from pretending you’re already perfect. It’s about striving for excellence, not perfection—a huge difference.
Question: Is this just an excuse for bad behavior or laziness?
Answer: That’s a common misinterpretation. This is about self-compassion, not self-indulgence. It’s about releasing the shame that paralyzes you, so you can actually get back in the arena and try again. Laziness often comes from the fear of being imperfect.
Question: How is this different from just having a low standard?
Answer: A low standard is about not caring. This is about caring deeply, but releasing the toxic, shame-driven narrative that you’re only worthy if you’re flawless. It actually allows for higher, more sustainable standards because you’re not constantly paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake.
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