We can’t change the story until we own it. It’s a simple but profound truth about personal growth and leadership. You have to stop blaming and start taking responsibility for your narrative before you can ever hope to rewrite it.
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Meaning
At its core, this quote means you can’t fix a problem you won’t admit is yours. It’s about radical ownership.
Explanation
Let me break this down for you. For years, I saw people—clients, colleagues, even myself—stuck in the same loops. The project that failed, the relationship that fell apart, the career that stalled. And the story was always about someone or something else. The market was bad. The client was unreasonable. My partner didn’t understand.
That’s the story we tell. But here’s the kicker: as long as that story belongs to someone else, our hands are tied. We are powerless. We can’t change another person. We can’t change the entire market.
Owning the story is the moment you get your power back. It’s not about admitting you’re a terrible person. It’s about having the courage to say, “Okay, what was my part in this? Where did I get hooked? What boundary did I not set? What truth did I not speak?” That ownership—that’s the key that unlocks the door to a different ending. You can’t change a story you’re just a passive character in.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Life (320) |
| Topics | change (101), ownership (20), truth (77) |
| Literary Style | assertive (142), minimalist (442) |
| Overall Quote Score | 80 (256) |
Origin & Factcheck
This wisdom comes straight from the research of Dr. Brené Brown. It’s a central theme in her 2015 book, Rising Strong, which was published in the United States. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific, powerful phrasing is uniquely hers, born from thousands of data points on vulnerability and courage.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Rising Strong (30) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | We can’t change the story until we own it |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2015; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9780812995824; Last edition. Number of pages: 336. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page, The Reckoning section |