You know, that idea “We can’t raise children who are more resilient…” hits you right in the gut, doesn’t it? It’s a simple but brutal truth: our kids’ ability to bounce back is directly tied to our own. We have to do the inner work first if we want them to be brave.
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Meaning
Our children’s resilience is limited by our own. Their capacity to handle adversity is built from watching us navigate our own.
Explanation
Look, I’ve seen this play out so many times. We tell our kids to be brave, to get back up when they fall, to not let failure define them. But then they watch us. They watch us avoid difficult conversations. They see us paralyzed by the fear of what other parents will think. They hear us beat ourselves up over a tiny mistake. That’s the real curriculum. It’s not what we *say*; it’s the behavior we model. Our own unwillingness to be vulnerable, to sit with discomfort, to admit we’re wrong… that creates a ceiling for our kids. We literally cannot give them a tool we refuse to pick up ourselves. It’s like trying to teach someone to swim from the safety of the dry deck.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Personal Development (697) |
| Topics | courage (145), example (15), resilience (106) |
| Literary Style | concise (408) |
| Emotion / Mood | determined (116), motivating (311) |
| Overall Quote Score | 86 (262) |
Origin & Factcheck
This gem comes straight from the research of Dr. Brené Brown, specifically from her 2013 audiobook, The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting. You’ll sometimes see it floating around unattributed, but it’s 100% her work, born from her decades of studying courage, vulnerability, and shame.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection (35) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | We can’t raise children who are more resilient than we are willing to be |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2013; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 978-1611801053; Last edition: 1st Edition (Sounds True, 2013). Number of pages: 160. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2013 edition, Chapter: Raising Resilient Children |
