We can t raise children who are more Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

In the audiobook, she’s talking about the concept of “Wholehearted” parenting. This isn’t about some theoretical, perfect parenting model. It’s about the gritty, day-to-day work of showing up, being seen, and living courageously right in front of our kids, especially when it’s hard. The quote lands as a call to action for parents to focus on their own growth.

Usage Examples

So how does this actually work in the real world? Let me give you a couple of scenarios.

First, imagine you’re a parent coaching your kid’s soccer team. The team loses a big game. The easy, default move is to blame the ref or a bad call. But the resilient move—the one that models what you want for your child—is to say, “You know what, that was a tough one. I’m proud of how we played in the second half. Let’s talk about what we can learn from this.” You’re modeling how to sit with disappointment without outsourcing the cause.

Or, think about a parent at home. Your kid sees you working on a presentation, and you get critical feedback. Instead of hiding your frustration or complaining about your boss, you could say, “Wow, that feedback was hard to hear. I’m feeling pretty defensive right now, but I’m going to sit with it and see what useful pieces are in there for me.” You’re showing them how to process criticism without crumbling.

This quote is for anyone in a leadership or caregiving role—parents, coaches, managers, teachers. It’s the foundational principle.

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FAQ

Question: Does this mean I have to be perfectly resilient myself?

Answer: Absolutely not. In fact, that’s the opposite of the point. It’s about being *willing* to try, to be seen struggling, and to get back up. Perfection is the enemy here.

Question: What if I’m not a very resilient person? Is it too late?

Answer: It’s never too late. The most powerful thing you can do is start now and be honest about the journey with your kids. Saying, “I’m working on being braver when things get hard” is a profound lesson in itself.

Question: How is this different from just telling kids to “be tough”?

Answer: “Be tough” is about suppressing emotion. Resilience is about feeling the emotion—the fear, the disappointment, the shame—and moving through it. It’s the difference between a brick wall and a willow tree that bends in the storm.