We cannot control everything that happens, but we can control our reaction. It’s the fundamental difference between feeling powerless and finding your power in any situation. This isn’t just positive thinking; it’s a practical skill for navigating life’s chaos.
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Meaning
This quote is about shifting your locus of control from the external world, which is chaotic and unpredictable, to your internal world, which you can train and manage. It’s the bedrock of resilience.
Explanation
Look, here’s the thing I’ve seen over and over. Most people get this backwards. They exhaust themselves trying to control outcomes, other people’s actions, market shifts, traffic… you name it. And they end up frustrated. Burned out. The real leverage point isn’t out there. It’s in the space between an event and your response. That tiny, almost imperceptible moment? That’s where your power lives. It’s not about suppressing emotion; it’s about choosing your behavior. That’s the core of emotional intelligence in action.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (4111) |
| Category | Personal Development (752) |
| Topics | control (63), emotion general (116), reaction (8) |
| Literary Style | practical (132), simple (305) |
| Emotion / Mood | encouraging (328), lively (108) |
| Overall Quote Score | 83 (330) |
Origin & Factcheck
This comes straight from Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence, published in the United States. You’ll sometimes see a similar sentiment misattributed to ancient Stoics like Epictetus—and honestly, the spirit is the same—but this specific phrasing is Goleman’s, framing it through a modern psychological lens.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Dr Daniel Goleman (50) |
| Source Type | Book (4669) |
| Source/Book Name | Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (54) |
| Origin Timeperiod | Contemporary (1810) |
| Original Language | English (4111) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4669) |
Author Bio
Daniel Goleman is a psychologist and bestselling author whose journalism at The New York Times brought brain and behavior science to a wide audience. He earned a BA from Amherst and a PhD in psychology from Harvard, and studied in India on a Harvard fellowship. Goleman’s research and writing helped mainstream emotional intelligence, leadership competencies, attention, and contemplative science. He co-founded CASEL and a leading research consortium on EI at work. The Daniel Goleman book list includes Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, Primal Leadership, Social Intelligence, Focus, and Altered Traits.
| Official Website
Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | We cannot control everything that happens, but we can control how we react to what happens |
| Book Details | Publication Year: 1995; ISBN: 978-0553375060; Last edition: 2005; Number of pages: 352 |
| Where is it? | Chapter: Managing Anxiety, Approximate page 211 from 2005 edition |