We cannot practice empathy for others when we Meaning Factcheck Usage

Context

Brown was deep in her research on how shame specifically impacts women when she wrote this. She was observing that many women, burdened by unrealistic expectations and constant self-judgment, were finding it increasingly difficult to maintain authentic connections because they were bringing that harsh inner critic into every relationship.

Usage Examples

I use this all the time. With burned-out managers who can’t understand why their team feels unsupported—we trace it back to their own brutal self-expectations. With parents who struggle to be patient with their children—we often find they’re merciless with their own mistakes. With anyone in a caring profession—therapists, nurses, teachers—who feel their compassion fading. The application is universal: if your empathy well is dry, check your relationship with yourself first.

To whom it appeals?

Share This Quote Image & Motivate

Common Questions

Question: Does this mean I have to love myself completely before I can be empathetic?

Answer: Not at all. It’s about reducing the active self-contempt. You don’t need perfect self-love—just enough self-acceptance to quiet the critical inner voice that blocks connection.

Question: Can faking empathy work when I feel this way?

Answer: You can perform the behaviors temporarily, but genuine empathy—that felt sense of connection—requires internal freedom from self-judgment. People sense the difference between performance and real presence.

Question: What’s the first step to breaking this cycle?

Answer: Practice noticing when you’re being harsh with yourself. Just awareness. That moment of “Oh, I’m doing that again” creates the tiny gap where change can begin.