We cannot selectively numb emotions is a profound truth about how our emotional system operates. When we try to shut down pain, we inadvertently block joy and connection as well. It’s an all-or-nothing deal with our feelings.
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Meaning
The core idea is simple but brutal: you can’t turn off the “bad” feelings without also shutting down the “good” ones. Your emotional system doesn’t have a separate set of dials for pain and for joy.
Explanation
Let me break this down based on what I’ve seen in my work. Think of your emotional capacity not as separate channels, but as one single volume knob for your entire being. When you decide you’re feeling too much grief, or anxiety, or fear, and you turn that knob down to mute the pain, you mute everything. The joy, the sense of belonging, the love—it all gets quiet. You can’t just numb the dark without dimming the light. It’s a package deal. This is why people who pride themselves on being “tough” or “not emotional” often struggle to feel truly, deeply happy and connected. The mechanism for feeling is the same.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Wisdom (385) |
| Topics | emotion general (105), numbing (7) |
| Literary Style | clinical (8) |
| Emotion / Mood | sobering (17) |
| Overall Quote Score | 75 (124) |
Origin & Factcheck
This quote comes directly from Brené Brown’s 2010 book, The Gifts of Imperfection, which was published in the United States. It’s a cornerstone of her research on vulnerability and wholehearted living. You sometimes see similar sentiments floating around, but this specific, powerful phrasing is all Brené.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | The Gifts of Imperfection (46) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | We cannot selectively numb emotions |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2010; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781592858491; Last edition. Number of pages. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2010 Hazelden edition |