We have become experts at independence and amateurs Meaning Factcheck Usage
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We have become experts at independence… but we’re paying a hidden price. This quote reveals a painful trade-off in modern society, where our focus on self-reliance has eroded our sense of community.

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Meaning

It means we’ve perfected the art of being self-sufficient individuals, but in the process, we’ve completely neglected and become unskilled at creating deep, meaningful connections with a community.

Explanation

Let me break this down. Think about it. We celebrate the “self-made” man or woman. We’re taught from a young age to be independent, to get our own house, to build our own career, to stand on our own two feet. And that’s not a bad thing, right? But here’s the catch. We’ve gotten so good at it that we’ve let our muscles for belonging atrophy.

We have thousands of online “friends” but maybe no one to call at 2 AM. We live in hyper-connected isolation. Junger’s point, and it’s a powerful one, is that this isn’t a natural human state. We evolved in tribes, in small, interdependent groups where survival depended on belonging. Now? We’re all these incredibly competent, independent islands, feeling lonely in a sea of people. We’re masters of one skill and complete novices at the other, more fundamental one.

Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryLife (320)
Topicsbelonging (37), independence (8), modernity (6)
Literary Stylephilosophical (434), witty (99)
Emotion / Moodhumble (74), reflective (382)
Overall Quote Score83 (302)
Reading Level72
Aesthetic Score87

Origin & Factcheck

This comes directly from Sebastian Junger’s 2016 book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. It was published in the United States. You won’t find this quote attributed to anyone else—it’s pure Junger, born from his research into veterans, community, and why modern life can feel so empty despite its material abundance.

Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorSebastian Junger (60)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameTribe: On Homecoming and Belonging (60)
Origin Timeperiod21st Century (1892)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

Sebastian Junger is born in Belmont, United States on 1962. He studied cultural anthropology at Wesleyan University and built his career in journalism. He is the one of the leading contributor and editor at Vanity Fair. Along with Tim Hetherington, he codirected Restrepo(2010 American documentary), which went on to win Sundance’s Grand Jury Prize and an Academy Award nomination. The Sebastian Junger book list includes The Perfect Storm, Tribe, A Death in Belmont, Freedom, War, and In My Time of Dying, each marked by distinct writing style
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Where is this quotation located?

QuotationWe have become experts at independence and amateurs at belonging
Book DetailsPublication Year: 2016; ISBN: 978-1-4555-6638-6; Last edition: 2017; Number of pages: 192.
Where is it?Chapter 3: In Bitter Safety I Awake, Approximate page 76 from 2017 edition

Authority Score90

Context

Junger was looking at a fascinating paradox: why do some soldiers coming back from brutal, traumatic deployments sometimes miss the war? It wasn’t the violence they missed. It was the tribe. It was the profound, visceral sense of belonging, of having a shared purpose and relying on the person next to you. He uses this to hold a mirror up to our civilian society, which often lacks that very sense of cohesive, mutual support.

Usage Examples

This isn’t just a nice quote to ponder; it’s a lens you can use. I use it all the time.

  • For Leaders & Managers: Use it to explain why building team culture isn’t a “soft skill”—it’s addressing a fundamental human need. You can say, “Our team is full of experts, but let’s work on being amateurs at belonging a little less. Let’s create a real sense of tribe here.”
  • In Personal Conversations: When someone talks about feeling isolated or disconnected despite a “successful” life, this quote perfectly articulates that modern dilemma. It gives a name to the vague unease.
  • For Self-Reflection: Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I an expert at independence, and where am I an amateur at belonging?” The answers can be incredibly revealing.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
ThemeMeaning (164)
Audienceseducators (295), leaders (2619), students (3111), writers (363)
Usage Context/Scenarioeducational essays (5), leadership reflections (14), motivational writing (240), social commentaries (2)

Share This Quote Image & Motivate

Motivation Score82
Popularity Score85
Shareability Score84

FAQ

Question: Is Junger saying independence is bad?

Answer: Not at all. He’s pointing out a dangerous imbalance. Independence is a strength, but when it completely overshadows our need for community, it leads to psychological distress, loneliness, and a lack of resilience.

Question: What’s the solution he proposes?

Answer: The entire book is an argument for consciously rebuilding “tribal” structures in modern life. This means prioritizing local community, shared purpose, and mutual aid over hyper-individualism. It’s about recognizing that we need each other.

Question: Can a company be a “tribe”?

Answer: It can aspire to be, and the best ones do. But a real tribe is defined by a deep, intrinsic loyalty and shared identity, not just a paycheck. A company can foster that, but it has to be authentic.

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