We need to be critical of the messages… because they shape our entire reality. It’s about auditing the internal stories that dictate your confidence, your choices, and your capacity for joy.
Share Image Quote:This quote is a call to audit the internal narrative that runs on a loop in your head—the one that tells you what you’re capable of, what you deserve, and who you’re allowed to be.
Look, we all walk around with this invisible script. It’s written by our parents, our teachers, our culture, our past failures. And the thing is, we rarely stop to question it. We just accept “I’m not a math person” or “I’m not leadership material” as absolute truth. Brene is telling us to get curious. To challenge that script. Because that internal monologue isn’t just background noise; it’s the director of your life. It dictates your confidence, your choices, your willingness to try new things. When you start to dissect those messages, you realize you can edit them. You can even rip out whole pages and write new ones. That’s the real work.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (4111) |
| Category | Education (342) |
| Topics | expectation (19), identity (112), self awareness (62) |
| Literary Style | didactic (393) |
| Emotion / Mood | reflective (422) |
| Overall Quote Score | 77 (181) |
This wisdom comes straight from Brené Brown’s 2012 book, Daring Greatly, which was published in the United States. It’s a cornerstone of her research on vulnerability and shame. You sometimes see the sentiment floating around unattributed, but the specific phrasing is definitively hers.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4645) |
| Source/Book Name | Daring Greatly (39) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1995) |
| Original Language | English (4111) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4645) |
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
Official Website |Facebook | X | Instagram | YouTube |
| Quotation | We need to be critical of the messages we’re sending to ourselves about who we are and who we’re supposed to be |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2012; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781592407330; Last edition. Number of pages: 287. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2012 Gotham edition |
In Daring Greatly, this idea is part of the crucial groundwork for embracing vulnerability. Brown argues that we can’t be truly vulnerable and show up fully if we’re being held hostage by a story about ourselves that we’ve never even verified. It’s the first, and most critical, step to “daring greatly.”
So how do you actually use this? It’s a practice. For instance, the next time you hesitate to speak up in a meeting because you think, “My idea isn’t fully formed,” pause. Ask yourself: Who told you that your ideas are only valuable if they’re perfect? That’s a message. Question it. For a leader, it’s about listening to the voice that says, “You have to have all the answers,” and consciously replacing it with, “My job is to ask the right questions and create a space where my team can find the answers.” This is for anyone who has ever felt like they’re not enough, or that they have to be something they’re not.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Advice (756) |
| Audiences | leaders (2968), parents (468), students (3505), teachers (1335) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | leadership seminars (108), personal growth events (20), school lessons (3), self-help programs (31) |
Question: How do you even start to identify these messages?
Answer: Pay attention to your self-talk, especially the automatic, negative stuff. The “I always…” or “I never…” statements. That’s where the gold is. The messages are hiding in plain sight.
Question: Isn’t this just positive thinking?
Answer: Not at all. Positive thinking is about slapping a happy thought on top of a negative belief. This is deeper. It’s forensic. It’s about excavating the core belief itself and examining the evidence for it. It’s gritty, uncomfortable work, not just affirmation.
Question: What if the message is based on a past failure?
Answer: Perfect. A failure is an event, not an identity. The message might be “I am a failure.” Your job is to critically assess that and reframe it to “I failed at that one thing, and here’s what I learned.” You separate the event from your sense of self.
When Brene Brown asks “What messages define worthiness here,” she’s handing us a powerful tool for decoding the hidden rules that shape our lives. It’s about pulling back the curtain…
To effectively communicate, we must realize that we’re all running on different internal software. It’s the single biggest unlock for better conversations, better relationships, and honestly, better business outcomes. Once…
You know, that idea that ‘Every message, no matter how harsh…’ is really about listening for the need behind the anger. It’s a game-changer for communication, shifting your focus from…
People love to talk about themselves—give them the stage. It’s a game-changing insight that flips traditional networking on its head. Stop trying to be the most interesting person in the…
We pay more attention to the content of messages… and that’s exactly why we fall for so much misinformation. It’s a mental blind spot Kahneman nailed, and once you see…
When you are tempted, you discover who you truly are. It's a simple idea, but…
You know, when Paulo Coelho said "People learn through suffering, not through comfort," he really…
You know, the world changes with your example, not with your opinion is one of…
Forgiveness is an act of love, not weakness is a powerful reframing of a concept…
You know, "Evil lies not in what we do" is one of those lines that…
You know, "People want to change everything and, at the same time, want it all…
This website uses cookies.
Read More