Find summary, author, factcheck, related quotes, and context of quote – When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. This principle tells us how we should approach every conversation, negotiation, and conflict.
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Meaning
You can have the most logical argument in the world, but if you ignore the other person’s emotional state, you’ve already lost.
Explanation
A manager lays out a new improved flawless new process, and the team just resists. Why? Because he spoke to their brains but ignored their fear of change, their pride in the old way of doing things, their anxiety about looking incompetent. We all walk around with this invisible backpack of emotions, ego, insecurity, desire for appreciation, and that backpack dictates about 90% of our reactions. Logic is just the surface layer. It’s about connecting to your audience before you try to correct them.
Summary
| Category | Skill (40) |
|---|---|
| Topics | communication (41), emotion general (6), empathy (29) |
| Style | observational (2), plain (10) |
| Mood | realistic (22) |
Origin & Factcheck
| Author | Dale Carnegie (67) |
|---|---|
| Book | How to Win Friends and Influence People (36) |
Author Bio
Dale Carnegie (1888), an American writer received worldwide recognition for his influential books on relationship, leadership, and public speaking. Among his timeless classics, the Dale Carnegie book list includes How to Win Friends and Influence People is the most influential which inspires millions even today.
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Where is this quotation located?
| When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion |
| First Published : 1936, Revised Edition 1981, ISBN: 9780671723651. Number of pages: 280 |
| Part One, Chapter 1: If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive, page 13 |
Context
This quote is slightly paraphrased version. The actual text in book is as follows,
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity”.
Usage Examples
Let me give you a couple of real-world scenarios where it can be used.
- For a Team Leader: Your developer is defensive about a bug in their code. Instead of pointing out the logical error, you might say, I know you’ve put your heart into this feature, and it’s frustrating when something slips through. Let’s figure this out together. You’ve addressed the emotion, the frustration and defensiveness first.
- In a Sales Pitch: Don’t just list product features. Connect to the client’s desire for less stress, their fear of falling behind competitors, their pride in making a smart decision for their company.
- At Home: Your partner is upset about a forgotten chore. The logical counter argument of I was busy with work is not the proper response. Acknowledging the feeling, I can see why you’re feeling tired, and I’m sorry I forget the task, is what actually resolves the tension.
This could be used by anyone who has to work with, sell to, or live with other human beings.
To whom it appeals?
| Audience | counselors (17), leaders (152), managers (71), sales people (22), teachers (93) |
|---|---|
This quote can be used in following contexts: team communication,negotiation training,emotional intelligence classes,leadership courses,sales workshops
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FAQ
Question: Does this mean logic doesn’t matter at all?
Answer: Not at all. Logic is your foundation, your proof. But emotion is the vehicle that gets your logic heard and accepted. You need both, but you have to lead with the emotional connection.
Question: How can I get better at recognizing the emotions in play?
Answer: It starts with active listening. Stop formulating your response while the other person is talking. Listen for the feeling behind their words. Are they anxious? Excited? Defensive? Proud? Name the emotion to yourself. It becomes a habit.
Question: Isn’t this a bit manipulative?
Answer: The intent is key. If you’re using this to genuinely understand and connect with someone to find a mutually beneficial outcome, it’s empathy. If you’re using it to trick someone for your own gain, that’s manipulation.
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