When I get lonely these days, I think… is about making loneliness your teacher instead of your enemy. It’s a radical shift from running from discomfort to sitting with it and learning its lessons. This is the foundation of real emotional resilience.
Share Image Quote:The core message is about radical acceptance. Instead of fighting a negative feeling, you accept its presence and decide to learn from it, transforming a moment of pain into a moment of growth.
Look, we’re all wired to avoid pain, right? Loneliness, boredom, anxiety—we scroll, we snack, we call someone, anything to make it stop. But what Gilbert is proposing here is a complete game-changer. It’s the emotional equivalent of leaning into the skid. You stop treating loneliness like a house fire you have to escape and start treating it like a room in your own internal house. You learn where the furniture is. You sit in the quiet. And in doing that, you realize it can’t actually destroy you. You build a tolerance. And that tolerance? That’s power. It’s the power of not being at the mercy of your every passing feeling.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Category | Emotion (177) |
| Topics | growth (413), loneliness (8) |
| Literary Style | narrative (32) |
| Emotion / Mood | healing (4), introspective (55), vulnerable (4) |
| Overall Quote Score | 86 (262) |
This comes straight from Elizabeth Gilbert’s mega-bestseller Eat, Pray, Love, published in 2006. It’s her internal monologue during her time in Italy. You sometimes see it floating around unattributed on social media, but it’s 100% hers from that specific journey of self-discovery.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Elizabeth Gilbert (39) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia (39) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3669) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Elizabeth Gilbert writes with clarity and heart about creativity, love, and self-discovery. After starting in magazines like GQ and The New York Times Magazine, she published Pilgrims, then broke out with Eat Pray Love, followed by Committed, The Signature of All Things, Big Magic, and City of Girls. Her 2009 TED Talk on creativity went viral and continues to inspire makers worldwide. She splits time between writing, speaking, and mentoring creative communities. For a full view of her work, see the .
| Official Website | Facebook | X| Instagram
| Quotation | When I get lonely these days, I think: So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2006; ISBN: 978-0-670-03471-0; Last edition: Penguin Books, 2010; Number of pages: 334. |
| Where is it? | Chapter 48, India section, Approximate page 172 from 2010 edition |
This isn’t just a nice thought she had on a good day. She’s alone in a foreign country, her marriage is over, and she’s deliberately sitting with the very feelings she spent her life running from. This quote is a snapshot of her actively building a new relationship with herself, one where she doesn’t abandon herself when things get uncomfortable.
So how do you actually use this? It’s a mental framework. When that wave of loneliness hits on a Sunday night, instead of desperately texting five people, you might just say to yourself, “Okay. Here it is. So be lonely.” And you just feel it. It’s incredibly empowering.
Who this is for: Honestly, anyone navigating a big life transition—a breakup, a move, a career change. It’s for new parents feeling isolated. It’s for leaders who have to make tough, lonely decisions. It’s a tool for anyone ready to stop being terrified of their own inner world.
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Theme | Wisdom (1754) |
| Audiences | readers (72), students (3112), therapists (555), women (74), writers (363) |
| Usage Context/Scenario | healing workshops (19), journaling exercises (7), self-help books (53), solitude essays (1), therapy discussions (37) |
Question: Isn’t this just about giving up and being sad?
Answer: Not at all. It’s the opposite of passive resignation. It’s an active choice to be present with your experience, which is the first step toward truly understanding and managing it.
Question: How is this different from just isolating yourself?
Answer: Great question. The goal isn’t isolation. The goal is to build a secure base within yourself so that your connections with others come from a place of wholeness, not from a place of neediness or fear of being alone.
Question: Can this apply to other emotions, like anxiety?
Answer: Absolutely. This framework is a master key. “So be anxious, learn your way around it.” “So be bored, learn your way around it.” It works for any difficult feeling we typically resist.
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