When we hold our children to a standard of perfection, we completely miss the real child standing right in front of us. It’s a trap so many well-meaning parents fall into, focusing on an impossible ideal instead of the beautifully imperfect human they’re raising. This quote hits at the very heart of authentic parenting.
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Meaning
The core message is that a fixation on perfection blinds us to the authentic, unique, and wonderful qualities our children already possess.
Explanation
Look, here’s the thing I’ve seen over and over. When we get hyper-focused on the report card, the perfect manners, the elite team, we stop seeing our child. We see a project. A checklist. And in that process, we completely miss their incredible sense of humor, their unique way of seeing the world, their quiet kindness to a friend. The beauty Brown talks about is that raw, unpolished, genuine spirit. It’s the messy art, the off-key singing, the passionate but flawed argument about why they need a later bedtime. Chasing perfection isn’t just exhausting; it’s a recipe for missing the whole point of the relationship.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Skill (416) |
| Topics | acceptance (73), parenting (19), perfectionism (24) |
| Literary Style | poetic (635) |
| Emotion / Mood | general (55), tender (51) |
| Overall Quote Score | 86 (262) |
Origin & Factcheck
This is a direct quote from Brené Brown’s work, specifically from her audiobook The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection, which was released in the United States in 2013. You won’t find it misattributed to anyone else—this is pure, uncut Brené Brown wisdom.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting: Raising Children with Courage, Compassion, and Connection (35) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | When we hold our children to a standard of perfection, we miss the beauty of who they are |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2013; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 978-1611801053; Last edition: 1st Edition (Sounds True, 2013). Number of pages: 160. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2013 edition, Chapter: Letting Go of Perfection |