When we numb the dark, we also numb the light is a profound truth about emotional wholeness. It’s a reminder that you can’t selectively shut down pain without also diminishing your capacity for joy. This is the core of vulnerability work.
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Meaning
You can’t selectively desensitize yourself. The same mechanisms we use to block out pain, grief, and fear are the very ones that block out joy, love, and connection.
Explanation
Look, here’s the thing I’ve seen time and again, both in the research and in my own life. We think we’re being smart. We build these walls to keep the bad stuff out—the disappointment, the heartache, the anxiety. We think we’re protecting ourselves. But the brutal, beautiful truth is that you can’t build a wall that only keeps the bad guys out. It also keeps you in. It walls you off from the very things that make life worth living. That incredible, heart-bursting joy? It requires the same open-hearted vulnerability as sitting with deep grief. You can’t have one without the other. They run on the same circuit. So when you shut down the vulnerability to avoid the dark, you inevitably, and I mean inevitably, dim the light.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Wisdom (385) |
| Topics | emotion general (105), light (5), numbing (7) |
| Literary Style | metaphoric (105) |
| Emotion / Mood | somber (55) |
| Overall Quote Score | 77 (179) |
Origin & Factcheck
This comes straight from Brené Brown’s 2010 book, The Gifts of Imperfection. It’s a cornerstone of her research on wholehearted living. You sometimes see it misattributed to general “self-help” or other authors, but its home is firmly in Brown’s body of work on shame, vulnerability, and courage.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | The Gifts of Imperfection (46) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | When we numb the dark, we also numb the light |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2010; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781592858491; Last edition. Number of pages. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2010 Hazelden edition |