When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we’re essentially putting up a forcefield against the very things that make life rich. It’s a defensive move that, ironically, blocks the good stuff—the connection, the purpose, the meaning. This isn’t just feel-good advice; it’s a hard-won truth about how human connection works.
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Meaning
At its core, this quote means that building walls to avoid getting hurt also walls you off from a life that feels worth living. You can’t selectively numb emotion.
Explanation
Let me break this down from my own experience. We think of vulnerability as a weakness, right? Something to be managed, hidden, or outright avoided. But here’s the thing Brene Brown figured out from her research: vulnerability is the absolute bedrock of courage, creativity, and belonging.
When you shut down that part of yourself—when you refuse to be the first to say “I love you,” or you don’t apply for that dream job because you’re afraid of the rejection, or you can’t admit to your team that you made a mistake—you are, in that very same action, shutting down the potential for a breakthrough. You’re playing not to lose instead of playing to win. And a life spent playing not to lose is… well, it’s a pretty small, safe, and honestly, kinda lonely way to live. The magic, the “experiences that bring purpose and meaning,” are always on the other side of that uncomfortable, uncertain feeling.
Quote Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Category | Wisdom (385) |
| Topics | connection (265), meaning (50), vulnerability (47) |
| Literary Style | didactic (370) |
| Emotion / Mood | reflective (382) |
| Overall Quote Score | 80 (256) |
Origin & Factcheck
This is a direct quote from Brené Brown’s 2012 book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, which was published in the United States. You won’t find it in her TED Talks verbatim, but it perfectly encapsulates the core thesis of her work that made those talks so famous.
Attribution Summary
| Context | Attributes |
|---|---|
| Author | Brene Brown (257) |
| Source Type | Book (4032) |
| Source/Book Name | Daring Greatly (39) |
| Origin Timeperiod | 21st Century (1892) |
| Original Language | English (3668) |
| Authenticity | Verified (4032) |
Author Bio
Dr Brene Brown is the author of books such as Daring Greatly and The Power of Vulnerability. The TED talk and Netflix production based on her research reached out to millions of audience. She researches effects of courage and vulnerability in shaping people's work and relationships. She leads the Brené Brown Education and Research Group and provides evidence-based insights into practical tools to help people train themselves
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Where is this quotation located?
| Quotation | When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives |
| Book Details | Publication Year/Date: 2012; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781592407330; Last edition. Number of pages: 287. |
| Where is it? | Approximate page from 2012 Gotham edition |