When we stop trying to fix people and Meaning Factcheck Usage
Rate this quotes

When we stop trying to fix people, we unlock a profound shift. It’s about moving from a mindset of deficiency to one of genuine welcome and connection, where real healing can actually begin.

Share Image Quote:

Table of Contents

Meaning

The core message is a radical one: stop seeing people as problems to be solved and start seeing them as assets to be embraced. Healing flows from that embrace, not from the “fix.”

Explanation

Look, for years in community work, we operated on this “deficit model.” We’d go into a neighborhood and see only what was broken—the lack, the needs, the problems. And our entire approach was, “Let’s fix you.” But here’s the thing I’ve learned the hard way: nobody wants to be your project. That dynamic is inherently disempowering. It sets up a hierarchy. It says, “I have what you need, and you are lacking.”

But when you welcome someone, you’re doing something entirely different. You’re inviting their gifts, their stories, their capabilities to the table. You’re creating a space of belonging. And in that space—this is the magic part—people often start to solve their own challenges. They find strength in connection. The “healing” isn’t something you do to them; it’s something that emerges from the relationship. It’s the difference between being a mechanic and being a host.

Quote Summary

ContextAttributes
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
CategoryHealth (243)
Topicsacceptance (73), healing (82)
Literary Styleplain (102), poetic (635)
Emotion / Moodgentle (183), healing (4)
Overall Quote Score83 (302)
Reading Level68
Aesthetic Score89

Origin & Factcheck

This wisdom comes straight from John McKnight and Peter Block’s fantastic 2010 book, The Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods. You’ll sometimes see this sentiment floating around unattributed, but its home is firmly in their work on asset-based community development.

Attribution Summary

ContextAttributes
AuthorJohn McKnight (51)
Source TypeBook (4032)
Source/Book NameThe Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods (51)
Origin Timeperiod21st Century (1892)
Original LanguageEnglish (3668)
AuthenticityVerified (4032)

Author Bio

John McKnight, Professor Emeritus at Northwestern University had spent decades of his life helping people rediscover the power of relationships. Being, co-founder of the ABCD Institute, his core idea revolves around communities that grows by identifying and connecting their assets. You’ll find the John McKnight book list here which are anchored by Building Communities from the Inside Out, The Careless Society, The Abundant Community, and The Connected Community.
| Official Website

Where is this quotation located?

QuotationWhen we stop trying to fix people and start welcoming them, healing begins
Book DetailsPublication Year/Date: 2010; ISBN/Unique Identifier: 9781605095844; Last edition: 2012; Number of pages: 192.
Where is it?Chapter: Welcome Over Fixing, Approximate page from 2012 edition: 228

Authority Score92

Context

In the book, this isn’t just a nice sentiment. It’s the foundational argument against what they call the “consumer society,” where we outsource our care to professionals and systems. They argue that our neighborhoods are already abundant with skills and gifts; we’ve just forgotten how to connect and share them because we’re so busy trying to “fix” everything from the outside.

Usage Examples

So how does this play out in the real world? Let me give you a couple of scenarios.

First, think about managers and leaders. Instead of seeing a struggling employee as a “performance issue” to be fixed with a training plan, you sit down and say, “Hey, I see you’re having a tough time. What do you think is getting in the way? What part of this work *does* light you up?” You welcome their whole experience, and together, you find a path forward. It’s collaborative, not corrective.

Or, in parenting. Your teenager acts out. The “fixing” mode is all about punishments and control. The “welcoming” mode is about creating a safe enough space for them to actually talk about the anxiety or social pressure they’re under. The behavior is a symptom; the healing addresses the cause.

And honestly, it even applies to our personal relationships. When a friend is grieving, we often fumble around trying to find the perfect words to “fix” their sadness. But what they usually need is just our quiet, welcoming presence—the space to be sad without judgment. That’s where healing starts.

To whom it appeals?

ContextAttributes
ThemeWisdom (1754)
Audiencescounselors (241), leaders (2619), students (3111), teachers (1125), therapists (555)
Usage Context/Scenariocommunity healing programs (1), motivational talks (410), therapy sessions (129)

Share This Quote Image & Motivate

Motivation Score87
Popularity Score82
Shareability Score85

FAQ

Question: But what if someone genuinely needs professional help? Isn’t that “fixing”?

Answer: Great question. It’s a nuance. Connecting someone to a therapist or a doctor can be an act of welcome and support. The difference is in the *posture*. Are you doing it with them, respecting their autonomy, or are you doing it to them as an expert imposing a solution? The relationship is key.

Question: Doesn’t this just enable bad behavior?

Answer: This is a common pushback. Welcoming is not the same as condoning. You can welcome the *person*—their humanity, their struggle—while holding a firm boundary against destructive behavior. “I care about you, and I will not allow you to speak to me that way.” Both can be true.

Question: How do I even start applying this?

Answer: Start with a simple mindset shift. Before you offer advice or a solution, just listen. Ask a question like, “What’s that been like for you?” It moves you from the role of solver to the role of witness. And that’s where the connection begins.

Similar Quotes

When we are heard we naturally begin to Meaning Factcheck Usage>>

When we are heard, we naturally begin to heal. It’s a simple truth, but one that changes everything once you see it in action. This isn’t just about talking; it’s…

Healing is an art science and act of Meaning Factcheck Usage>>

Healing is an art, science, and act of love combined, and honestly, that’s the only way to truly understand it. You can’t just look at it through one lens. It’s…

When people stop feeling like they belong society Meaning Factcheck Usage>>

When people stop feeling like they belong, we start to see the fabric of society fray at the edges. It’s a primal truth that explains so much of the modern…

Healing begins the moment you believe it s Meaning Factcheck Usage>>

Healing begins the moment you believe it’s possible. It’s not just a nice idea; it’s the fundamental first step that unlocks your body’s and mind’s incredible capacity to recover. You…

Healing is not linear it s a journey Meaning Factcheck Usage>>

You know, “Healing is not linear” is one of those truths you have to experience to really get. It’s not a straight path from sick to well. It’s a messy,…